A Green Revolution (in weddings)

After my post yesterday, I got to thinking what a huge impact more consciously sustainable weddings could have.

How many people get married each year?  2,152,00, according to this wedding report. (Imagine how that will grow as marriage equality becomes reality!)

Ok, so there are more than two million events each year.  Some are small, just close family and friends at city hall or in a house of worship.  However, the same report figures the average number of guests per wedding at 128.  So to balance out all the ten person weddings, there are some weddings with several hundred people in attendance.

All these guests have to be provided with refreshments and seating and entertainment, and therein lies a huge potential for positive change.

I'm inspired by the Green Congregations movement, in which Christian congregations affirm their commitment

to care for creation ...  [and] affirm the creation in all its glory and beauty. [They] acknowledge God as the source of all things.... As a result, [they] strive to respect all of life as sacramental. [They] accept our vocation as earth-keepers who care for creation. ...

What I like about this statement is that it's not dogmatic or sanctimonious.  It does not say how congregations should express their care for creation, only that they value God's creation and affirm their duty to protect it.

Further on in the Green Congregation handbook, specific steps are suggested, first for taking an inventory of how the congregation does business, including Worship, Education, Building and Grounds, and Public Ministry, and then suggests ways that congregations might work to lessen impacts in these areas (eg., install compact fluorescent bulbs in church buildings, reduce the use of pesticides on church lawns).  

Imagine how much difference just one of these actions would make: if every house of worship in the country stopped using toxic herbicides and pesticides on their lawns and gardens, we'd have many, many fewer tons of toxic compounds running off into storm drains, rivers, lakes and oceans.  And that's just from one tiny change.

Another example is Transition Towns, communities where folks gather to explore the question:  how can our community respond to the challenges, and opportunities, of Peak Oil and Climate Change?

They raise awareness about current conditions, connect with existing groups in their towns, and assess various sectors of the town (food, energy, transport, health, etc.) to find out what actions are needed to reduce dependence on fossil fuels and create a more sustainable and liveable community.

I'm talking about the power of community here.  If people in a particular community, whether religious or secular, chose to change their lifestyles to take the well-being of the Earth into greater consideration, the cumulative impact of those actions can be HUGE!

Interfaith Power and Light is one such organization that helps religious congregations walk their talk in caring for creation.  Interfaith Power and Light

 [helps] buy energy efficient lights and appliances, provid[es] energy audits and iimplement[s] the recommendations, encourag[es] people to buy more fuel efficient vehicles and to drive less, support[s] renewable energy development through “greentags,” [and] work[s] on large-scale renewable energy installation projects such as rooftop solar and advocating for sensible energy and global warming policy.

Since weddings are (often) religious and spiritual events (supposedly 80% occur in churches and synagogues, but I'm not leaving you out, secularists), can we build on these ideas toward a Green Wedding movement?  Toward an authentic environmentally-conscious wedding movement, not another shopping spree for eco-friendly favors (though that could be part of it, if favors are a must).  

Not a 'greener-than-thou' competition over whose Mason jars have been used more often (passed down from my grandmother!) or how many tons of waste have been diverted from the landfill by forgoing disposable aisle runners and paper decorations, but a movement that begins with a thoughtful approach of assessing what is involved in the wedding, like the Green Congregations movement, and then thinking about how each of those components might be adapted to lessen their environmental impact.  

Maybe consultants like Interfaith Power and Light would spring up to assist couples in reducing their environmental impact.  Many of us already take on a careful calculus in seeking to lessen budgetary impact.  Can we incorporate environmental considerations, too?

Green? Really???

Seeing that some of my bloggy friends were vying for the Wedding Channels Bridal Blog Awards, I checked out the contenders.  It's exciting to see some of the awesome blogs that I've been reading ever since the first days of wedding planning being nominated for the title of 'best blog.'  I'm excited to see who wins!

But.... the category of Best Eco-Friendly Bridal blog is getting me down a bit.  Is this the best of the best when it to comes to planning an eco-friendly wedding???  Now, I love Green Wedding Shoes.  It's one of the few inspiration blogs I still read because the images are consistently gorgeous.  I've been reading it since... forever.... and a few sustainable weddings (including my own!) have been featured there.  But I never thought of it as an explicitly eco-friendly wedding blog. 

Are there no practical folks planning sustainable weddings?  Where are the offbeat eco-friendly brides and grooms?  We need stories and inspiration from real people, describing their successes and challenges in creating weddings that honor their love AND the Earth.  More stories like A Low Impact Wedding. 

Here's the challenge: it's time for those couples who are planning consciously eco-friendly weddings to step out of the background... come out of the forest... down from the mountain... out of the ocean... where ever you are hanging out, and share your stories of your green/ sustainable/ organic/ environmentally-conscious weddings.  If you've got one to share, I'll gladly feature it here.

I've changed my name!

Not actually *my* name (whole rant about this issue coming up soon...), but the blog's name.

I've been thinking about this for awhile. The new name captures much more of what I write and think about: not just being a bride (as soon as I post some of the pro photos and honeymoon stories, I will be waaaay over the wedding!), but trying to live in a way that captures the lightness and grace of walking barefoot.

I'm nearing the same crossroads that other wedding bloggers have reached, where I wonder what the purpose of this blog is, if not to capture my musings about my impending wedding. I don't have cats, or a major recipe habit, or deep knowledge of wine, or even an abiding passion for weddings (though I must confess to catching up on some pretty pictures and thoughtful writing upon the return from my honeymoon). I'm still interested in following how the bridal bloggers who got married around the same time that I did are experiencing the transition from fiancee to wife, and I'm sure I'll have more thoughts to share on this issue.

But much of what I think about - having had the experience of trying to plan a large event that would be both beautiful and socially and environmentally-responsible - is how to create a life that embraces both beauty and sustainability. I know in the past that these ideas were not opposed: artifacts were beautiful because they were well-made, handcrafted, durable and long-lasting. In the age of disposable everything, beauty, functionality and durability seem to be at odds. Things are thrown away before they are ever used. Durability is sacrificed for efficiency. We spend more time taking care of our stuff than actually enjoying it. How many times have I been to the Apple store to get my ipod repaired??? All because of the crazy notion of planned obsolescence.

So I want to take the lessons we learned from planning our wedding - about local sourcing, about working with artisans, about slowing down, about deciding what is truly important to us, about creating a day that deeply reflected our values - and work on applying it to Real Life. Much of my life, especially the past half dozen years of grad school, is spent zooming around at top speed, cramming in as much as possible. I'm starting to see that mode as neither sustainable, nor desirable, and not at all in line with my values. While I was to experience as much of the awesomeness that this life has to offer,* I'm no longer convinced that doing more is the answer.

I'll share my thoughts about how this works - especially in balancing roles of wife, professional, friend, etc. - and I still have a bit to say about our wedding. By now, blogging has become a habit that I don't want to give up. (Take note, all you New Year's Resolution Makers: after a year, a habit is engrained!)

*Somehow, marriage has put me in touch with mortality, too. A friend who married over the summer told me that her first thought after getting engaged was about death! Something about the transition in life stages, and the acknowledgment of generational change, I suppose. I'll have to come back to this in another post.

Our wedding on Green Wedding Shoes!!!

Wow, wow, wow!

I've been reading Green Wedding Shoes for ages, seeking inspiration and admiring all the stylish, sophisticated weddings featured there -- and now we get to join that exalted company!

Aiii-yiiii! Go check it!

I am so honored that our our efforts toward an environmentally and socially responsible wedding inspired photographer Kate Harrison to create a new promotion. She wrote to me:

[Y]our amazing & close to your heart (and mine!) efforts to have a
sustainable and organic wedding really knocked my socks off and fired me up. ... your wedding inspired me to create "bee-green", which encourages couples to incorporate five eco elements into their wedding for 5% off their photography.

How cool is that??? I couldn't be more pleased that Kate is encouraging other brides to consider sustainable, organic, local and reusable options! What a great way to share the joy, while stepping lightly on the planet. Now, go forth, and bee green!

How green was our wedding?

I'm still having a hard time digesting our glorious Beach Day into bite-size pieces suitable for blog-serving. It was epic. It was metaphysically earth-shaking. It was one of the most beautiful days ever. How do I take that and turn it into blog recaps? I don't yet know.

I do want to share what we did, and what we learned in this space, eventually. When we first started planning the wedding, I was lost at sea, awash in an overwhelming number of opinions, options, and "musts." The sane voices out there were such a welcome respite from all the gauzy images and lists of must dos (on which I was eternally behind!). I want to add our experience to the catalog of sanity.

It was important to us to have a wedding in line with our daily values, as environmental professionals. I've found tips for sane and green weddings all over the web. Before the wedding, I started to compare our plans with this list of eco-chic wedding tips from San Francisco Style Unveiled. Herewith, some more of the results:

26. Order your programs to be printed on 100% recycled post
consumer waste paper that has been processed without chlorine.
hmmm... Mr. Barefoot got them printed at the local print shop. Not sure what kind of paper was used. I'd have to say, though, forgoing programs entirely would probably be a more eco-friendly alternative. As I wrote here, unless the ceremony is in a religious tradition that many guests are unfamiliar with, it's not like there's so much going on that people can't keep track of it.

27. Rather than hosting a full bar, have a personalized cocktail made of organic ingredients – including organic vodka.
Fail. Beer, wine and gin were from BevMo. Sometimes, convenience rules.

29. Use food that is in-season for the reception.
Check. Katie Powers Catering focuses on local, organic, seasonal food that is shockingly delicious! People are still talking about the food!

30. Keep the wedding small. The more guests you invite, the bigger the carbon footprint left from the wedding.
Define 'small.' It all depends on your point of view. For folks with huge, gregarious families, a 100-person wedding might seem small. From my point of view, it was by far the biggest party I'd ever thrown.

31. Donate the flowers from your wedding to a hospital.
Or how 'bout you guests? All the flowers and vases went home with guests. Check.

32. Give each guest an 11-watt compact fluorescent bulb as a favor. Each replaced 50-watt incandescent bulb with the wedding favor will save 685 pounds of carbon dioxide.
Neat idea. Maybe next time...

33. Give a recycled handmade paper bookmark with wildflower seeds as a favor. This can be planted once they are finished using it.
Check. Something like that... we gave these birdseed hearts - the guests can share the love with our feathered friends. I'm not convinced that favors are absolutely necessary, but these were so cute, and in keeping with Mr. Barefoot's love of birds, that they felt right.

34. Purchase wedding shoes that you will wear again.
Oh, yeah, baby. Can't wait to wear the Jimmy's to holiday parties!!! That's why I bought 'em. Check.

35. Use a caterer who composts the leftover food.
hmmm.... honestly, I have no idea what they did with the leftover food. I would have been really stoked to bring home a doggie bag or two - it was that good!

36. Use locally grown flowers for your arrangements.
Check. Hooray for Local Flora! I have to show you her gorgeous arrangements.

37. Throw rose petals after the ceremony, rather than releasing butterflies.
Or nothing. Our national park beach location precluded throwing or releasing anything, which was just fine with me. Who wants to pick birdseed out of your hair on your wedding night? Check.

38. Give antique wedding bands to each other.
See #47.

39. Have your invitations made on bamboo paper.
How 'bout cotton paper, with some post-consumer content?

40. If you want to have a camera at each table for guests to use, rent the digital ones rather than single use.
Check. How many dozens of digital cameras were flashing that day??? We did get some single use cameras at the dollar store for the kids to play with. Quite a lot of fun for them. I wonder how many pictures of knees we have.

41. Travel by train, rather than by plane.
Does taking BART to try on my wedding dress count?

42. Purchase your dress or tuxedo from a vintage boutique.
Fail. New stuff all the way. Mr. Barefoot got a swanky handmade suit; my dress was from a bridal boutique. His suit is clearly re-wearable, which is how I convinced him to get a new one for the wedding (he was fine with wearing one of his two current suits). My dress, not so much. The question now is what to do with it? Initially, I had thought I'd donate it to Brides Against Breast Cancer, or possibly sell it, but I'm feeling more sentimental post-wedding. And I really want to wear it again < blushes >. Suggestions?

43. Take an eco-considerate honeymoon. Travel close to home or consider eco-tourism for your honeymoon destination.
Does hiking and whale-watching count? Patagonia, here we come!!!

44. Consider having a meat-free menu at your reception.
Check. I think everyone survived. I didn't hear any complaints. See #29.

45. Have an outdoor ceremony and reception.
Check, on the ceremony. The reception was indoors.

46. Hire vendors who are committed to being “green” and providing sustainable wedding practices.
Check. The best!

47. Purchase a conflict-free gem for your engagement ring.
Check. Love Brilliant Earth!

48. Live green after the wedding.
Working on it. The next initiative: cutting down on the use of paper towels and plastic containers.

49. Give organic chocolate as a favor.
Yum. Great idea. See #33.

50. Use all local wedding vendors.
Check.

Love in the age of Facebook

While cleaning out my email in-box, post wedding, I came across this message:

Eric said on Facebook that you two are married. We need you to confirm that you are, in fact, married to Eric.

To confirm this relationship request, follow the link below:
http://www.facebook.com/n/?home

It made me wonder: do people going around "spousing" those they are not married to?

Could I "spouse" a bunch of friends to make a simultaneous stand for marriage equality, and for polyamory?

If FB allows same-sex couples to spouse each other, is FB implicitly making a stand for same-sex marriage? Have opponents of same-sex marriage realized this, and if so, will they start to boycott Facebook?

Does the legal definition of marriage in the state or country where a user is based determine who they can "spouse"?

In a country that allows polygymy, would men be able to spouse more people than in a country that does not?

Who needs the New York Times Weddings section when you've got Facebook??? Not only is there waaaay more information on our FB pages than in the genteel bios of the Style section, but now my far-flung friends also know of our new status.

Another decor score

Hooray for the re-using proclivities of my sustainability-minded, penny-pinching environmental science friends and colleagues!

So far I've scored:

• several dozen colored paper lanterns
• votive candles
• bud vases
• tall glass vases
• Mason jars

And now, the pièce de résistance, the gorgeous white lights that will decorate the dance floor. Borrowed, for free!

Photos courtesy of T.G., who got married at the Headlands Center for the Arts last year.
How cool is his wife's dress???

"You're my kind of bride"

I knew I'd found the right florist, when Silke of Local Flora, said that to me.

Before we even got down to the details of arrangements and colors, we had a long talk about sustainability, and pesticides, and local growers, and why it's so hard to find organic flowers. (Answer: consumers demand perfect petals, and growers have difficulty making ends meet if they have to throw away too many munched blooms.) Silke said that the market for organic flowers is in its infancy, in the same way that the market for organic food was ten years ago. Many people don't realize the amounts of pesticides used on flowers or the concomitant dangers (a topic I wrote about here), and don't think to request organic flowers. She and her shop are working to nurture the local supply of organic flowers by working with individual growers, and buying extra blooms from individuals with extensive organic gardens.

Her gorgeous designs show that you don't have to give up elegance by going local and organic.

I showed Silke my favorite flower inspiration image (via SMP), and then said, "But no roses." She didn't bat an eye.
She grabbed some sunflowers - organic ones are easily available - along with some coxcomb and dark red dahlias, and started putting together a bouquet full of bright colors and interesting textures as I watched.

Now the only question is how many corsages and boutonnieres to order for our non-traditional band of wedding helpers.

At the two month mark

Yep, the Knot (thanks, Macy's) and Wedding Wire kindly informed me that it was time to start freaking out last week. The timing was perfect, since I was already freaking out about starting my new job. That means I can multi-task my freaking out, get it out of my system now, and by October I should be the picture of serene calm. (Anyone who knows me will be snorting with laughter by now... but what is life without goals?).

Fortunately, Mr. Barefoot, prescient planner that he is, had just the antidote for the impending freakout: a weekend away. Just the two of us. No weddings to attend (that we haven't had an absolute blast with all our wonderful friends who have gotten married this summer), no wedding planning to do, no work, no stress... and no computers! Just us in the mountains. Back to the climbing and hiking that first brought us together. Dreamy.

Now that I'm back, I could take a look at the Knot's list, and start freaking out about what I've left undone. (Securing the officiant is one important piece that is still... in process.) But I keeping with the mellow, outdoorsy vibe of the weekend, and the ostensible purpose of this blog - to chronicle planning a wedding that steps lightly on the earth - I'm going to take a look at a list of 101 Ways to Create an Eco-Chic Wedding, via San Francisco Style Unveiled, and see how we're doing according to their list.

Feel free to play along at home, and/or add your own tips! I'd love to hear some that they haven't thought of.

*****

1.Have your ceremony and reception at the same location. check

2.Keep the wedding cake simple. fail - as you may recall, our baker, Edith Meyer, specializes in rather elaborate cakes. However, they are organic - the reason we chose her - so I think we get a pass on this one.

3.Use the linens that your reception site provides. check

4.Wear a dress made of raw silk. fail - Wish I could afford one! I checked the tag on my dress the other day at the fitting, and, sadly, it is pure petrochemicals: polyester. In penance, I wrote a lengthy post about the reasons for using organic flowers.

5.Use a reply postcard, rather than a note card that needs an envelope. check - We did one better - we requested online responses to cut down on paper use.

6.Purchase a simple wedding gown that you would wear again. HA!!! (that's a fail.) Broken*saucer will score this point, with her blue gown.

7.Create a wedding website, rather than using mailer inserts with your invitation. check

8.Use the beautiful Northwest moss as a centerpiece in a lovely, shallow bowl. hmmm... not available here. Seems very location specific.

9.Donate your wedding dress to a charity when the wedding is over. that's the plan... Brides Against Breast Cancer.

10. Choose bridesmaids dresses that your friends will wear again. working on it. My BFF didn't really go for the first dress I chose at J Crew, or it's $170 price tag. We're going to hit Nordstrom rack in a couple weeks to see if we can find something re-wearable and less expensive.

11. Have the groomsmen wear a suit they can use again for work. yep, they'll wear dark suits they already own.

12. Blow bubbles rather than tossing rice; rice kills birds when they eat it. check. Rice and birdseed are not allowed at our venue. I'm not really sure I want my friends pelting me with tiny objects, anyway!

13. Rent real glasses and dishes, as opposed to using disposable plates. check - from the caterer.

14. Use a florist who uses flowers from local or organic farms. check - planning to visit Local Flora this week.

15. Have your guests reply on the website, rather than send in paper reply cards. check - are these a little repetitive???

16. Register for your gifts at local shops, so as to save on shipping materials and gas. fail. This one is tricky - with so many guests from out of town, I think it's a lot easier for them to choose gifts from online shops. AND, do we really want ALL those people driving around to shop? It may actually be more efficient to have the UPS guy deliver the gifts.

17. Use recycled gold for your eco wedding rings. check - Went to Brilliant Earth, which uses recycled gold, last week to pick out our bands! Yipppeeeee!!

18. Select a wedding venue close to your home. check

19. Create your own bouquets from wildflowers. hmmm... a moment ago, I was supposed to hire an organic florist...

20. Ride a tandem bike home from the reception. that would require purchasing a tandem bicycle to replace the perfectly good used bikes we already have. Not gonna happen, though it's a cute idea.

21. Use potted plants as centerpieces for a more organic wedding. maybe? Mr. Barefoot is the green thumb... I'm trying to convince him to pot a bunch of succulents, but given our busy schedules, I'm not sure it's gonna happen.

22. Use biodegradable, compostable dishes and flatware made from cornstarch, sugar cane, or tropical leaves. this is confusing... I thought I was supposed to use re-usable dishes...

23. In lieu of a favor, give the money to a charity for a greener world. considering this... we also listed a couple of our favorite causes, including Equality California, on our registry page, in case our guests would like to make a donation to one of these organizations in lieu of a physical gift.

24. Use a green wedding registry. Does REI count??... maybe Gaiam or Earthsake?

25. Use cloth napkins, rather than paper. check, via the caterer.

*****

phew... this is a lengthy list! Out of 25 suggestions, we're applying 14 of them to our wedding. Given that a couple were redundant or contradictory, that seems pretty good to me.

Check back soon to see how I fared with the next 25.

Wed Head

Do you ever get this?

If my day starts with wedding-related stuff (today it was cake tasting - yum!), it is ridiculously hard to switch back to the serious, theoretical pre-professor I'm supposed to be. (Not quite a prof, but I play one on TV ;-) ).


Rather than focusing on that chapter I'm supposed to finish, visions of sugar plums, and tinted icing, and raspberry filling, and sugar silkscreened postcards are dancing through my head. Along with rings, and a dress-fitting, and the invitation design, and flowers, and centerpieces... oh, and the ceremony! Right now (four months out), there seems to be a lot to do, with all of it demanding attention.

I've got a bad case of wed head.

That said, I think we've found our baker, the lovely Edith Meyer. We met her at her 1921 Craftsman house that sits in the middle of a gorgeous fruit and vegetable garden, and sampled a delectable array of cakes and icings.

She works with locally-sourced organic ingredients, organic fair-trade chocolate, and free-range organic eggs. (The fair-trade chocolate is a huge bonus because much of the world's supply of chocolate comes from West Africa, where the production of chocolate often depends on child slavery. Ah, yes, briefly coming back to my pedantic profession. I learned the hard facts about chocolate only last summer, from a colleague. These little facts can help us become more conscious consumers...)

Back to sugarplums... Edith's cakes are not only socially-responsible, they're downright gorgeous, with a clean, modern aesthetic.



She copied the design on the bride's gown for this one.

Though we've steered away from the Alice in Wonderland theme idea (despite the fact that it would incorporate croquet and make a great play on my name) this cake captures the ideas that we discussed with her the best.

Edith's blog

We walked in thinking that we would get a simple white cake decorated with flowers. After going to a cake tasting yesterday where every additional design element added twenty-five cents per serving to the cake cost, we were in the mode of thinking conservatively in order to stay within our budget. However, Edith's pricing system is different, and she encouraged us to think outside of the (round) box. She worked hard to brainstorm with us to figure out what sorts of themes and ideas would represent us well.

When I mentioned the postcards that we used as Save The Dates and will probably use for table assignments, her eyes lit up. So the cake may incorporate design elements from the invitations that reflect our love of the outdoors, and pick up on the postcard theme to represent our love of travel. Woo-hoo!

I feel so fortunate to have met so many wonderfully skilled and creative people during the wedding planning process!

Another way to gain perspective

Meg at a Practical Wedding is have been providing genius savvy and sane advice for maintaining pure vision in the face of the Wedding Industrial Complex.

I found another antidote the other night.

I stumbled on this show, Platinum Weddings. Ever curious about how the other half lives (make that the other 1%), I watched. And realized that I really have no interest in five-foot-tall floral arrangements with blooms flown in from Brazil and Australia, or a wedding on a golf course, or acres of ivory draping on the walls.

Nope. Just not me. phew.

Things I Didn't Know I Needed #2

We haven't made a gift registry yet. We haven't even thought about it (much). Though we've both been living on our own for a long time, we've both been students much of that time. When we moved in together, we discovered that we had duplicates of lots of things - but that a lot of those things were pretty crappy. And then there are major gaps: dining room table, anyone?

I imagine our registry will be pretty eclectic, aimed at filling in gaps and upgrading (cookware, especially) to things that will last a lifetime. (wow. I don't think I've ever typed or said that phrase before!)

Here are some current contenders, awesome gadgets that I didn't even know existed until recently.

Apparently, a mandoline makes the slicing of veggies, and therefore food prep, infinitely quicker.



I love, love, love seltzer water, or spark, as the Flower Boy calls it. But I hate, hate, hate the waste generated by oodles of plastic bottles, so I rarely buy it. I mainly drink it overseas, where you can get it in reuseable glass bottles. But if we had a seltzer water maker, I could drink bubbly to my heart's content.

Until...

... all of us are free, we are enslaved.

Until
...all of us are fed, we are hungry.

Until
.... all of us are housed, we are homeless.

Until
... all of us are shod, we are barefoot.

Until
... all of us are free to follow our love, we are alone.


from here, via FFFFOUND!

I went to a Passover Seder at the home of my BFF the other night. Though I'm not Jewish, she always includes me in a Seder. Passover has come to be one of my favorite holidays for its emphasis on freedom from bondage, inclusion of everyone who needs a place to go on Passover, and learning from history.

Each year, I get something different from listening to the Haggadah, the ceremonial re-telling of the story of the Exodus from Egypt. This year, the fortunate confluence of Passover with the legalization of gay marriage in Vermont and Iowa led me to reflect on how the value of my impending marriage is lessened, until this right is available to everyone.

The flower boy's gift

Very much the sort of feeling I'd like our wedding to have (via Once Wed.)

When I first got engaged, I did absolutely nothing. I didn't call my parents right away. I didn't celebrate with friends (other than Mr. Barefoot). I didn't show anyone the ring at first. In fact, I stayed home for a couple of days. I just needed to sit with the idea and get used to it. I felt weird about not telling everyone right away, but getting married is such a big decision, it takes some time to sink in.

When I finally felt ready to start telling people, I rang up my best friend, and she immediately invited me over for Champagne. (That's what best friends do!) Her two kids, whom I've known since they were born, were busily working on art projects. I told the kids that I would be marrying Mr. Barefoot, and that I wanted them to dress up and carry flowers in the wedding. They immediately agreed, and the 7-year-old boy announced that he would make hundreds of origami peace cranes to decorate the wedding site.

Little did I know that, in addition to being a math prodigy, he is a wedding design prodigy. Origami cranes are everywhere! They're perfect for weddings because they symbolize honor, long life, and loyalty.

This is a particularly beautiful example, via Once Wed.

Decor to Save the Planet: Local and Organic Flowers

Image from California Organic Flowers

I checked in at the Broke Ass Bride the other day, where she listed all the vendors she has lined up for her wedding. Quite an impressive list of accomplishments!

I was especially curious about her florist, as Mr. Barefoot recently encouraged me to hire one.* Figuring that we'd be plenty busy with all the other wedding details, he didn't love my idea of trying to DIY with flowers from the San Francisco Flower Market (at the same time I'll be starting a new job, entertaining visiting friends and relatives, preparing for a conference, etc., oh, and getting married!)

Seeing that Broke Ass Bride had been able to find a florist that specializes in local, organic, and Veriflora certified** flowers down in LA, I figured that here in the crunchy People's Republic of Berkeley, it should be no problem. There are probably dozens of local, organic florists out there vying for my business, right?

Well, my first few web searches revealed very little. Clients praised the arrangements of one florist as being 'organic' but the adjective appeared to have more to do with the form than the content of the design. Another consultant promised to provide green decor and advice, but didn't show many floral designs. Although local, organic food; vintage/ organic wedding dresses; and sustainably-produced rings are popular for green weddings, organic flowers are harder to come by.

Finally, the Marin Organic Directory led me to Local Flora up in even crunchier Marin. I can't wait to meet this woman: she scavenged building materials from the Sonoma dump and used reclaimed barn lumber for her facility. Her organic flowers come from Cow Track Ranch, a woman-owned business in West Marin, and are delivered in a bio-diesel truck. And she'll arrange flowers in my vases for no extra fee. (Huge bonus, since I've collected a dozen blue glass vases from eBay and the 99 Cent Only store.***)

Why does all this matter? Flowers are heavily sprayed with pesticides, herbicides and fungicides, often by poorly-paid workers, who may lack proper protective gear. Environmental standards of countries in Asia, South America and Africa, where many flowers are grown, may be weaker than those of the US, allowing pesticides that are banned in the US to be used. Then the flowers are shipped overnight to the US - can you say CARBON EMISSIONS? Flowers grown in the US will be subject to stricter environmental and labor standards, but require lots of energy for their heated greenhouses. Thus, buying organic flowers that flourish under local, seasonal conditions can reduce many of these environmental and social impacts.

Read more here and here.

The best bet is to buy locally grown organic flowers locally. But if that's not possible, California Organic Flowers will deliver directly to your door (yes, carbon emissions again - this is tricky business). Local Harvest can help you find local vendors of organic food and flowers. VeriFlora can help you find flowers that are certified as sustainably-grown.

* Because he knows that I care a lot more about aesthetics than he does.

**The VeriFlora Certified Sustainably Grown label ensures that your flowers are produced in a more environmentally- and socially-responsible manner.

*** Yes, they're from China. It's a tough thing, getting one's ethical, aesthetic, and economic values in line. Guilty of inconsistency and imperfection here.

Postscript: All this brought to you by my guilty green conscience, seeking to make amends for my new designer dress of unknown origin, that is probably not being produced in a very socially- or environmentally-responsible manner.

It's (actually) easy being green

(with apologies to Kermit T. Frog)



I've been trying to figure out what this blog is really about, I mean beyond wedding planning. There's a whole galaxy of wedding blogs out there, so what separates this one from the rest?

I've come to the conclusion that it's my conviction that our actions make a difference, and we should try to minimize the negative social and environmental impacts of weddings. Image if every bride incorporated a few green aspects into her wedding - we'd change the world!

At the same time, we need not go the sack-cloths-and-burlap route (unless that's what you're really into!). Following your passions and desires - what really animates an event or a life and gives it spark - needn't be relinquished in an effort to go green. But neither should those desires run roughshod over the planet.

Watching "Say Yes to the Dress" the other night (guilty pleasure - but oh, how I love that show!), I couldn't help but be horrified at the $18,000 custom-made dress that the bride didn't like. She ended up choosing a different dress that cost $9000 more. People plan whole wedding for that amount!

In planning our wedding, Mr. Barefoot and I have tried to incorporate our values, and it's been pretty painless, since we both have extensive education and experience in the environmental field. Much of what we're doing with our wedding is what we already do in our daily life.

Let's start with the site:
We love to be outdoors, we met at a party of a local outdoor group, so it was only natural that we'd find an outdoor site for our wedding. This choice is 'green' in a number of ways: in a beautiful outdoor setting, we'll need less in the way of decorations because we can depend on the beauty of the site. We don't need electricity during daylight hours. And often outdoor sites are cheap or free. (We had to pay for a $400 site permit, as the ceremony will be held in a national park).

The reception will be at the Headlands Center for the Arts, an artists’ residence center in a renovated former Army building (re-use!), a short walk from the beach. The proximity of the wedding and reception sites eliminates driving, and carbon dioxide emissions. We anticipate that some of the guests will want or need to drive between locations (a mile or two by road). However, most will join us on a short 15 minute walk down to the beach for the wedding ceremony. After the ceremony, the guests will be able to enjoy the spectacular scenery as they wander back to Headlands Center for the Arts for the reception.

To further reduce driving, we have reserved the Headlands Hostel, next door to the Headlands Center for the Arts, which will house 25 family members and close out-of-town friends for the weekend, Friday through Sunday. Housing close friends and family members on site will create plentiful opportunities for reconnecting and enjoying the Park. Camping weddings are another great way to allow everyone to connect and enjoy the outdoors, while reducing driving. Housing everyone at one or two B&Bs is another way to reduce driving.

While California may be particularly blessed with seasons and locations in which it's lovely to be outside, I suspect this strategy can be adapted to other parts of the country. Without sacrificing anything that was important to us, we were able to eliminating the need for a lot of driving, parking hassles, and most importantly, carbon emissions.

Bling to Save the Planet!

I've been meaning to write about my ring for awhile, because I'm just so happy that I could get something beautiful, and stylish, and sparkly, and also know that it 's creation wasn't having a devastating impact on people and the planet.

Though I'm well known for being a magpie because I have such a fondness for sparkly shiny things, I stopped wanting a diamond ring after I read a comment somewhere in the blogosphere that said 'do you really want the blood of a bunch of Africans on your hand?'. Well, thanks for putting it so graphically. Why no, I don't.

Diamond mining has been implicated in many of the social and environmental ills that have befallen Africa, and it behooves us to think about how First World consumption occurs on the backs of Third World suffering. Not to be too much of a downer, but I didn't want to start my life with Mr. Barefoot standing of the backs of children and exploited workers laboring in poor conditions in a toxic diamond mine.

Mr. Barefoot and I then considered using my grandmother's ring - but I wanted something new and all my own - or getting a vintage ring - but I'm a bit superstitious about the vibrations that metal can hold and transmit.

I looked at some socially-conscious ring makers like Green Karat and some local shops, but didn't love any of their designs.

Enter Brilliant Earth, and their conflict-free, sustainably-mined diamonds and recycled gold. I spent hours pouring over their website. The Offbeat Bride did a great post about them recently, with tons of details.

Even better was the fact that their showroom is just across the Bay in San Francisco. We BARTed over one morning, and had a lovely, no-pressure try on session with a knowledgeable consultant. I was glad we didn't get a ring online, because the one I loved on the website just didn't look that good on my hand. Eventually, we narrowed the options to a few and I left the final decision in Mr. Barefoot's hands.

Though I knew the ring was coming, I was stunned by his proposal (but that's a post for another day...). The ring is absolutely beautiful, sparkly, all that it should be, and I am so happy knowing that it was produced with the least negative impact on people and the planet possible. (It's also not very large, as was my desire, since I use my hands a lot and didn't want a big rock that was going to get caught on things all the time. However, I was none too pleased when a female friend (and ex) of Mr. Barefoot said, "Oh, how dainty [eg, tiny]!" Hilarious post about 'diamonds as dicks' here.)

What made the ring even more special is that PK, the Musical Marathoning Mammalogist, who got engaged several months before me, and Dr. Cowgirl, who got engaged about a month after me, also got their rings at Brilliant Earth. It feels very sweet to share this source with friends (see photo above). Now, I'm trying to convert the recently-engaged Water Doc to our club...

Postcards from a wedding

I think I've stumbled on a theme without even intending to.

The other night, after Mr. Barefoot had gone up to Tahoe to ski, leaving me the quiet of the house to peacefully work on my dissertation, I got sucked into the vortex that is ebay. I needed to order a few more vintage California postcards to use for additional Save the Date cards (thanks to the ever-expanding guest list!). But with bidding on ebay, you never really know if you're going to win what you want for the price you want, so I always bid on a few extras of this thing I'm looking for.



Before I knew it, I had placed bids on an additional 108 postcards - when we only needed like 10 more! And you know, ebay bids are not retractable once they're placed. (Yeah, I know, I should've just 'watched' the auctions, but at $2 here and $5 there, it didn't seem like much of a commitment to go ahead and bid... Until I saw that the total of outstanding bid I had was $42. Still, it won't break the bank.)



So then I set to wondering what I was going to do with 100 extra vintage postcards. I'm thinking maybe this is the theme for our wedding. We both love to send postcards from our travels (my middle brother is the only other person I know who still does this.) We had already been thinking about using postcards from different places we'd traveled together as table markers.




Now I'm thinking we can use the additional postcards as either
1) place cards on the tables, or
2) escort cards hung on a clothesline, with the guests' names and table numbers written on the back, or
3) places for the guests to write wishes to us. We could have a sign that says something like "Send us a postcard into the future for our adventures together" and guests could fill out postcards and place them in - oh! a little mailbox! which could also hold gift cards! - rather than writing in a guest book.


Plus, I love this theme idea because it's all reused - vintage, baby - so no new resources are required to make these decorations, and it totally reflects us.
What do you think? Which one(s) of these options would work the best?

Favors - 2B or not 2B?

We've been thinking that we'd probably not do favors, as we didn't want to give people another bit of useless, plastic kitsch that they'd have to get rid of afterward.

That said, though, I have a few favors from friends' weddings that I really treasure. When a dear Korean friend, let's call her Style Doc, got married, everyone got a pair of small hand-painted wooden ducks that are a symbol of good luck and happiness in that culture. As I write, these ducks are on a shelf just above my computer, and remind me of my friend... and the fact that I owe her a thank you note for a birthday gift... Another friend, who is a mosaic artist, decorated hundreds of glass votive holders with brown and copper glass. These candle holders look great amidst the plants in my sand-and-sage-colored living room.

If I had the crafty skills, I'd love to make something cool and memorable like these lovely favors. I've had a hard time coming up with anything that seems feasible, yet.



But I do like to bake, and when I saw these adorable labels, I thought maybe we could just make dozens of chocolate chip cookies in the weeks before the wedding, freeze them, and offer them in little goodie bags to take home. Homemade, local, organic, delicious, and consumable. Sounds like a winning combo! (But will I really be able to bake dozens of cookies in the weeks before the wedding? Stay tuned...)

Power flowers and pretty tables

Ooo, I love these flowers! Vibrant, bold colors, big blooms.



Found at A Practical Wedding

These might look good on the long dining tables in blue glass vases, like this. I'm trying to track down a bunch for cheap on ebay and/or the Dollar Store.



We've budgeted only $250 for decorations. We'll be outdoors much of the day, so we won't need much. But the interior is a renovated army building, and, as you can imagine, is pretty barebones. Some flowers and perhaps paper lanterns will warm it up a bit.

This is the other idea I like for the tables: manzanita branches in glass vases, maybe with some cranberries filling the bottom of the vases.
via Brooklyn Bride