The world's too small, or The perils of Facebook

In our search for a DJ, we were delighted to find a super-talented one, who, along with being a music-first, no-cheese artist, was also in our demographic, and intuitively grokked the kind of party (heavy on the '80s music) that we wanted to have. Score!

However, through a bizarre swerve of Fate, he couldn't play at our wedding after we'd booked him. To make up for his error, he ended up substituting one of his partners at no cost to us. That honored his commitment so professionally and generously impressed us, so we accepted the substitution. Although we (or at least, I) were completely smitten with our would-be DJ, we figured that zeroing out a line item made good financial sense.

Now the plot thickens: the would-be DJ followed up by email recently to make sure the music at the wedding went well. Indeed it did. The substitute did a great job, and everyone had a blast. The would-be DJ mentioned that he noticed that I was Facebook friends with a former co-worker of his, with whom he had a very serious falling out. He was worried that this person would be at the wedding, creating an uncomfortable situation for all involved. He thought it was fortuitous -- fated even -- that he had mistakenly double-booked, and didn't have to risk a difficult encounter.

So now I wonder: Did Fate interfere to prevent the would-be DJ from meeting his old nemesis? What if I had invited that FB friend to the wedding? How much do people conclude from the (virtual) company I keep?

How we almost avoided a first dance

Neither the Mr. nor I are especially graceful dancers. Of the two of us, he has more skill. My style is more to bounce and bob in some semblance of rhythm with the music. I have no real moves.

While dancing with one of the mister's friends at a wedding the month before ours, the friend suggested that I might want to look into dance lessons before our wedding (!). Yeah, I'm that uncoordinated.

Over the summer, we had planned to take some ballroom dancing lessons at a place just a mile or so from our house. But with the mayhem of dissertation writing, job starting and wedding planning, the plan never became reality.

We figured we'd have the DJ start the music while we were cutting the cake, so that guests could immediately begin dancing. At first, the plan went well. The infectious '80s music drew everyone onto the dance floor.






But then... our plan was foiled! The Women of Honor stopped the music for toasts, and to start the dancing again, the DJ played In Your Eyes and everyone spread to the edges of the room. I think they even chanted first dance, first dance. This despite the fact that it was after 9, and we were sweaty from dancing for hours.

So there we were, in the middle of an empty room, with nothing to do but dance.

Persimmon perfection

What an adorable and tasty way to do escort cards/ favors all in one! The persimmons could be delicious snacks, mid-party, when energy is waning.

From Erin Ever After, via Veiled Vows.

Now there's a whole new category in my mind: if we did it again, but slightly differently. This idea is definitely filed there.

Which is not to say that I would have done anything differently. Although people say that things will go wrong -- and it's certainly a good idea to be prepared for that eventuality -- I can honestly say that virtually nothing* went wrong.

Our persimmons were artfully scattered, along with pomegranates, as table decor. Local, seasonal, and easy to procure, they picked up the deeps reds and oranges of the flowers and gentlemen's ties.


Guests took home these healthy snacks. A month later, they are just eating last ones. The sturdiness of autumn foods like pumpkins, squashes and pomegranates makes me think of fortitude, forbearance, and persistence.

*To my knowledge, three rather minor things went wrong.** There might have been others, but I was blissfully unaware, having handed off the reins to our Day of Coordinator. I didn't even know about two of the glitches until the end of the evening, when Eric told me as we were driving away. I am so grateful that he shielded me from fretting about these details during the evening. The other incident -- the result of misunderstanding combined with a bit of deafness -- I dealt with in two minutes and then things were fine.


** Maybe there was a fourth: Guests weren't able to hear the splendid acoustic stylings of our friends during cocktail hour because of the poor acoustics of the reception space. Oh well.

Thanks to wedding guests Rob and Madeleine for the photos!

They said there would be obstacles...

Of course. Murphy's Law, and all that. My friend Dr. Cowgirl had to re-print her invitations, and almost - but didn't - canceled her outdoor ceremony. And her dress arrived late, and had to be re-altered. The band double-booked, but miraculously showed up at the wedding. Data Monkey's flower order got canceled. And nonetheless, their weddings were utterly perfect! So I should just start bracing myself for a few disappointments...

After our painstaking, interminable search for a DJ we liked, we have learned that he inadvertently double-booked! argh. How could this be?

We learn this the day before my dissertation is due. No time to think about Plan B right now, or even to be stressed, beyond venting a bit here.

On the upside, he is offering to set us up with another DJ for free (my favorite price, again!). Is the replacement as good??? Stay tuned...

Dear Yelp!

Dear Yelp!

You are such a godsend. What would I do without you? You introduced me to a great salon, led me to a good, fast and reasonably-priced pedicure, showed me the best sushi in my neighborhood.

And now you've introduced me to a fabulous DJ, who doesn't advertise, and got right away the fact that "basically, you guys just want to have an awesome dance party, right?"

When he said that he likes to meet potential customers in person to make sure that they're not going to expect him to wear a tux or play the Chicken Dance, I was in love. We talked to a lot of people, and he was the one who tuned in immediately to what we want - going so far as to glance at our playlist, and then spin a mix that included songs we love but had neglected to write down.

We're so excited to have a fabulous dance party with DJ Jeremy, and we couldn't have done it without you, Yelp!

Thanks a bunch!
kisses!

Sometimes, you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't

Just popping in to let you know that I seem to have run out of words this week. (I know that, by saying that, I have proven that I still have a few words left, but mostly they seem to be used up.)

Graduation weekend was fun, exhilarating and exhausting. I have been quite a solitary being for the last several months, as I've tried to pound out my dissertation in the shortest time humanly possible (only to miss the May filing deadline. argh!).

To suddenly join a weekend-long whirl of parties - followed by a half-day retreat at my new job - was a bit of a (delicious) shock to the system. I think all my words went into the conversations that have been held in abeyance these last several months. The rest are going into the revised chapter due to my advisor by the end of the month.

I've kind of lost the thread on wedding planning, too. Once we secured our DJ (which I need to write about) and started working with the lovely Kimi (who was featured in one of the first wedding blogs I ever read, and immediately caused me to fall in love) at Printable Press on our invitation designs (oh yeah, I owe her an email), the wind kinda went out of my sails.

We have all the big things in place... well, except for the ceremony that we're writing ourselves, and the officiant(s), and the wedding entourage, and the dinner menu, and the rings (which I am petrified of forgetting), and a zillion other things that I surely have forgotten.

But for now, my words are dedicated to my chapters. (hmm, looks like there were a lot more words lurking around than I suspected!)

I'll be back soon, I promise, with photos and the rest of the story of the wedding of Data Monkey and Mountain Man.

'til then...

Introducing DJ Tio

Getting a handle on the right sort of music for a really fun dance party that would appeal to friends and relatives of all ages, hailing from all over the world, was not as simple as we had hoped. A post I wrote about a month ago generated a bunch of good ideas (Thanks, Un-bride and The Flashdance!), but ultimately, these led to dead ends.

Back to Yelp! and its list of DJs. One of them called me "passive aggressive." Ugh. Out.

Then there was the Disappearing DJ: the one who was available on Friday, but was no longer available on Monday. His explanation: "I've decided to go a different direction with my availability on Oct. 24th. I'm sorry for the inconvenience." That's ok. He lost me when he air-guitared the first few bars of a Journey ballad, in response to my question about how he'd get people dancing if they were lagging. "Don't Stop Believin'" is his 'can't fail' song. I'm not sure it's so big in our crowd.

When it looked like our options were dwindling, I emailed my brilliant uncle in Connecticut. Tio once gave me a piece of advice that has guided my life: "Find work you love, and you'll never work a day in your life." The tricky thing about this strategy, as I have learned, is that it sometimes takes you for a bumpy ride. But if you can both hold on and flex with the curves, the trip can be exhilarating.

Tio's love is music. He's been a radio DJ all over the place, including Sirius Satellite Radio (unfortunately, the merger with XM caused them to cut a bunch of DJs. Including Tio. Ouch.). He agreed to advise us on music, and spin live at the wedding! I don't want to him to be working the whole time, so we will still hire a DJ. But now I know we've got some great backup, too.

Does your life have an Emcee?

Maybe your life is more grand and organized than mine.

Maybe your butler announces your arrival at home.

Maybe you are proceeded wherever you go by a man with a microphone announcing "And now, let's welcome Lacey as she sits down prepare a report!"

But for me, such drama seems a little over-the-top.

So why would I want an emcee announcing my every move at the wedding???

I want my wedding to be a fancy, wow-she-cleans-up-really-well verison of my regular life, which decidedly does not include a butler or an announcer.

As you might have guessed, we are in the considering-musical-options stage. Our first idea was to have a friend's band play - how fun! how local! how keeping-it-in-the-family! We didn't know if we could afford them, but the point turned out to be moot: they'll be touring the East Coast in Oct. (So be on the look out for Poor Man's Whiskey if you're out east, or anywhere else, for that matter. We recently saw them at the Great American Music Hall in SF, and they were a BLAST!)

Ok, on to DJ options. Mr. Barefoot did some web research, consulted Here Comes the Guide, and presented a list for my consideration. I found several of them too cheezy to consider further - what is all this talk of emcees stage-managing every moment of the event? One wanted us to fill out a minute-by-minute chart of where the guests would be and what they'd be doing, so that the DJ could "keep them moving" on to the next part of the event.

I know that day-of schedules are the sort of thing that bridal mags and The Knot et al advise you to do, but we're much more ah... organic (some would say chronologically-challenged) than that. I don't prepare a minute-by-minute schedule for a cocktail or dinner party, so why would I make one for my wedding? (Maybe I should. If I'm over-looking something on this account, I'd be grateful if you'd advise me.)

Refusing companies that required detailed schedules, or gave any indication that they might play the dreaded Chicken Dance, or even hinted that they might announce a garter removal or bouquet toss, narrowed down our options considerably: to 2.

If anyone out there has a good line on a non-cheezy DJ or a cool affordable band in the Bay Area, do be so kind as to let me know.