With eight days 'til the wedding, Mr. Barefoot in the midst of an incredibly stressful situation at work, and my new job, life is a bit hectic here at Chez Barefoot. We continue to muddle forward, but blogging, dishes and laundry are all falling by the wayside. We'll get them all in hand - at least the latter two - by the middle of next week when family starts to arrive. Meanwhile, I've got to locate some bamboo poles for my beach flags, and some babysitters for the youngest guests.
I've had my hair trial -- two and a half hours of messing around with my shockingly thick hair to figure out that:
1) there's too much of it to put in a French twist,
2) a tight chignon gives me a headache in about 2 minutes,
3) thick ropes of hair make nice square knots,
4) with enough curls and hairspray in it, it will look great even when it falls down.
Now, here's the thing about the hair trial: I'm so glad we did it, because even with my favorite stylist, who's known me forever, the first few styles didn't work very well. The look I thought I wanted didn't work as well on my as it did in photos. Thank goodness we got the kinks in the system worked out ahead of time, so that we're not wasting time on the Big Day. However, all this was on the clock, at my stylist's usual $75/ hour rate. When you add the trial together with the Day Of styling, the price mounts, very, very quickly! Ah, well. At this point, my checkbook is pretty much open all the time. It's easier to pay for something than stress about it in these final days.
We're moving along here: the re-ordered rings are right this time, and being engraved;* the dress fits perfectly,** and will be picked up by a friend on Sat. morning and taken directly to the wedding venue; Mr. Barefoot's suit looks dashing on him; my best friend picked a poem to read at the ceremony that made me both laugh and cry. At the same time.
We meet with her husband, a practicing Jew, now known as the Rev. Jo B., after his online ordination, tomorrow to finalize the DIT ceremony.*** Though our friends may not be crafty in the traditional art-project way, they know their way around the English language, and have already contributed so many beautiful words and thoughts to our marriage.
*I left my engagement ring to be engraved and am wearing my delicate eternity band. Wow.
**As long as I am not bloated. No cabbage, no beans next week!
***This post was about hair, but Wed Head has completely obliterated my ability to stick to one coherent train of thought.
Showing posts with label budget. Show all posts
Showing posts with label budget. Show all posts
Friday, October 16, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Another decor score
Hooray for the re-using proclivities of my sustainability-minded, penny-pinching environmental science friends and colleagues!
So far I've scored:
Photos courtesy of T.G., who got married at the Headlands Center for the Arts last year.
How cool is his wife's dress???
So far I've scored:
- several dozen colored paper lanterns
- votive candles
- bud vases
- tall glass vases
- Mason jars
Photos courtesy of T.G., who got married at the Headlands Center for the Arts last year. How cool is his wife's dress???
Thursday, October 8, 2009
No naked bridesmaids
FINALLY, after interminable email discussions, we found a dress that suits the color, style, and price requirements of all involved. I can't begin to imagine how long reaching consensus would have taken if I had more than TWO special ladies. Here's the ironic thing: I didn't want to choose a dress for them. I felt funny telling grownups what to wear, when, after years of experimentation, they know what suits them best.
I suggested that they just each choose a lovely, floaty/ non-shiny dress in one of the wedding colors. But they insisted that I choose the dress - while maintaining veto power, because of the aforementioned hard-earned knowledge. That made for a lot of back and forth negotiations, and some near meltdowns on my part. ("What?!?!? They won't bend to my iron fashion will??!??! Are they really my friends??!?!?!")
Thank you, Anthropologie! Your half price sales are the salvation of girls everywhere with champagne tastes and beer budgets.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Ridiculous sale on wedding jewelry! TODAY
Ooooh, boy, I got sucked into the intertubes, while Mr. Barefoot was off having his bachelor party weekend with the boys at Tahoe. An innocent Google search for "pearl drop earrings," which seem the perfect complement to the dress and the ocean-side location, quickly led me down the rabbit hole, and soon I was zooming around oogling more varieties of pearl earrings than I ever knew existed.
But, my time wasting can be your gain! Kohl's is having a ridiculous sale on jewelry this weekend! Half off or more, on just about everything. Real stuff, like 14k gold* and sterling silver. Plus, free shipping if you spend more than $100. Plus, 15% off with the SEPTSAVE code. Go NOW - the sale ends this weekend.
Here are some of the beauties I considered...
These pretties are here
Totally classic.
These are so romantic!
Love these, but a bit more business-y than wedding-y.
Finally I settled on these - for less than $60!
I don't think I've ever shopped at Kohl's, thinking that it was a store for suburban moms to outfit their school-age kids. I've been educated.
* Probably not recycled, like the gold at Brilliant Earth. But they do have a statement saying their diamonds are certified by the Kimberly Process (which unfortunately turns out to be ineffective.)
But, my time wasting can be your gain! Kohl's is having a ridiculous sale on jewelry this weekend! Half off or more, on just about everything. Real stuff, like 14k gold* and sterling silver. Plus, free shipping if you spend more than $100. Plus, 15% off with the SEPTSAVE code. Go NOW - the sale ends this weekend.
Here are some of the beauties I considered...
These pretties are here
Totally classic.These are so romantic!
Love these, but a bit more business-y than wedding-y.
Finally I settled on these - for less than $60!
I don't think I've ever shopped at Kohl's, thinking that it was a store for suburban moms to outfit their school-age kids. I've been educated.
* Probably not recycled, like the gold at Brilliant Earth. But they do have a statement saying their diamonds are certified by the Kimberly Process (which unfortunately turns out to be ineffective.)
Monday, July 13, 2009
Shoegate update
Fluevog just emailed to notify me that the black work shoes I had ordered (along with the purple boots, uh huh, yes I did!), are sold out company-wide, so they've canceled that part of my order.
Is that a divine sign that, because I was so budget savvy with the vases and votives over the weekend that I should reward myself with the Chie Miharas???
Or should I continue to look for hip/ funky/ walkable professorial shoes?
As I confided in the wise executive LPC the other day, after nine years as a grad student, wearing mainly jeans and Dansko clogs (yeah, boring), I am quite at a loss as to how to dress professionally and professorially.
Please weigh in, oh blogonistas!
Is that a divine sign that, because I was so budget savvy with the vases and votives over the weekend that I should reward myself with the Chie Miharas???
Or should I continue to look for hip/ funky/ walkable professorial shoes?
As I confided in the wise executive LPC the other day, after nine years as a grad student, wearing mainly jeans and Dansko clogs (yeah, boring), I am quite at a loss as to how to dress professionally and professorially.
Please weigh in, oh blogonistas!
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Weekend scores
In a Friday afternoon brain-dead moment, I went down to the local fancy Italian shoe store to see if they might have the Chie Mihara's I'm lusting after.
Alas, they did not.
But the Crate and Barrel outlet was right next door, so I wandered in to see how we might spend the gift certificate the my brother and sister-in-law gave us last Christmas. (You know it's a busy year, when your Christmas gift certificates are still hanging around in JULY!)
I was super excited to find these stemless wine glasses, on sale for $1.75/ each, which I think will make great bud vases to complement the larger vases I found on ebay. If you need anything in the way of vases or kitchen ware, you've got to check out the Crate & Barrel outlet. The Thirty-something Bride scored some cute vases there last week.
I realized recently that the long tables of our venue call for more than one centerpiece per table. But at $25 and up for professional flower arrangements, that's going to be hard to fit in our budget. So these little vases can hold one or two stems each -- and when we're done, they're hip wine glasses. (A further bonus is that they're apparently 30% recycled glass, according to the Macy's website where they sell for $25/ 4 glasses! And $16/ 4 at Amazon.)
Feeling that the shopping gods were with me, I took a spin by the 99 Cent Only store.
Last time I was there, I scored eight blue glass vases like this for $1 (image from here, where the price is $15!)
My intuition paid off! I scored 40 of these glass votive holders for 25c/ each - or $10 for the whole mess of 'em! (A sign of the times, by the way, that my computer keyboard has no 'cents' sign.) It's definitely worth checking out the dollar store- you never know what you'll find.
Now back to C&B tomorrow, for the votives - 30/ $6 - to go in these, and our tablescapes are just about set.
Alas, they did not.
But the Crate and Barrel outlet was right next door, so I wandered in to see how we might spend the gift certificate the my brother and sister-in-law gave us last Christmas. (You know it's a busy year, when your Christmas gift certificates are still hanging around in JULY!)
I was super excited to find these stemless wine glasses, on sale for $1.75/ each, which I think will make great bud vases to complement the larger vases I found on ebay. If you need anything in the way of vases or kitchen ware, you've got to check out the Crate & Barrel outlet. The Thirty-something Bride scored some cute vases there last week.
I realized recently that the long tables of our venue call for more than one centerpiece per table. But at $25 and up for professional flower arrangements, that's going to be hard to fit in our budget. So these little vases can hold one or two stems each -- and when we're done, they're hip wine glasses. (A further bonus is that they're apparently 30% recycled glass, according to the Macy's website where they sell for $25/ 4 glasses! And $16/ 4 at Amazon.)Feeling that the shopping gods were with me, I took a spin by the 99 Cent Only store.
Last time I was there, I scored eight blue glass vases like this for $1 (image from here, where the price is $15!)
My intuition paid off! I scored 40 of these glass votive holders for 25c/ each - or $10 for the whole mess of 'em! (A sign of the times, by the way, that my computer keyboard has no 'cents' sign.) It's definitely worth checking out the dollar store- you never know what you'll find.
Now back to C&B tomorrow, for the votives - 30/ $6 - to go in these, and our tablescapes are just about set.
Friday, June 26, 2009
More ways to cut costs
Studio Blue photography is offering 20% off packages booked now, starting at $992 for six hours of coverage.
Ajalon Printing and Design, which I discovered via elefantitas alegras, has an *amazing* letterpress special:
100 invitations, enclosure cards, and envelopes for $398!
What a deal!
Quick: they've got to be ordered by June 30, 2009.
If our invitations were not already well under way, I'd totally be going for something like this:
Or this
More reasons to love it: They're based in Sonoma County, the heart of California wine country, where they print on 100% recycled cotton paper (tree-free) and use soy-based inks.
Green and gorgeous.
Ajalon Printing and Design, which I discovered via elefantitas alegras, has an *amazing* letterpress special:
100 invitations, enclosure cards, and envelopes for $398!
What a deal!
Quick: they've got to be ordered by June 30, 2009.
If our invitations were not already well under way, I'd totally be going for something like this:
Or this
More reasons to love it: They're based in Sonoma County, the heart of California wine country, where they print on 100% recycled cotton paper (tree-free) and use soy-based inks.
Green and gorgeous.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Save/ splurge
After seeing the firestorm around Ten Thousand Only's reluctance to reveal her final wedding costs, and sera's comment at broken*saucer: "I don't need or want your wedding total. I want how to make mine cost less, and still get what I want," I decided to share what I've learned about wedding budgets after six months of planning.
All the usual caveats apply: trained driver on a test course, do not mix with alcohol, your mileage may vary.
Talking about money is the last taboo, especially for WASPs (high or not), but I feel strongly about sharing information to help each other out and not go broke.
The initial budget
It's nearly impossible to jump into a new world - where you don't know the parameters, what's available, how things are done - and come up with a reasonable initial budget. Our very first budget was $12,000. That seemed like a huge pile of money when we'd never spent more than a couple hundred dollars for wine and snacks from Trader Joe's for a party. Surely, we could wine and dine 100 of our nearest and dearest for that much. (Especially when I've been in grad school for the past nine years - hardly the road financial security - and both of us have buckets of student loans that we'll be paying until we retire.)
We knew we wanted a Saturday evening party, as about 2/3 of our guests would be coming from out of town. We knew we wanted to be outdoors, in a place that had some special meaning to us. But the cold truth about where we live: it's EXPENSIVE! Especially if you want a venue where you can hang out all day, not just for a few hours in the evening. Fortunately, our parents offered to contribute just when we were getting that horrible sinking realization that our initial budget might cover food, wine and location, but not much else. Our revised budget is at the lower end of the "average" cost of a wedding where we live, via wedding cost estimator, but much much more than the initial budget.
Networking
Most of the best ideas for the wedding - from the venue to the photographer - have come through connections. We are not people with tons of crafty artisan friends. But we do have fairly large networks, and have been blessed with lots of good suggestions (and fortunately few of the kind that question our taste or sanity).
Figure out your Values
The best wedding advice I received was to think about three aspects of the wedding that were most important to me, and to focus time/ money on those.
For me those were:
location
food/ wine
dress*
For Mr. Barefoot they were:
location
food/ wine
cake
Ceremony would be up there, too, as a fourth - but the thing that is important to us about the ceremony is that it is simple and community-oriented, mainly in ways that don't cost money. It was important to us to get married outdoors in a place that had personal significance, so our options on places were immediately limited.
*not that I wanted to spend a ton of money - I most certainly didn't - but finding 'the right' dress that made me feel really special was important. My initial dress budget was $800. I hoped to find a sample sale dress, or one at Brides Against Breast Cancer (even considered driving Portland for the weekend, to go to a sale!). Neither of these panned out, and I ended up 50% over budget, but I'm thrilled with the dress that my sister-in-law and I both independently picked out online for me. (Now, if I could just get over to SF to try it on...)
Catering
Our venue has a designated caterer, so that decision was made for us. Fortunately, she is the amazing former chef at one of my favorite restaurants in SF. From the start, we were clear about the limitations of our budget, and she has worked with us. Serving mostly vegetarian food and having stationary, rather than passed, appetizers has saved us some money. And, much as it pains me, we'll probably do a buffet rather than family-style dinner. The venue requires that we bring our own wine and beer - purchased for half price at the BevMo 5 cent sale. (We need to stock up on champagne or cava at the one going on now.)
Bargaining
With all of our vendors, we've been clear on our budget, and asked what they could do within it. (It helps that Mr. Barefoot went to law school!) A few have not been interested in discussing the terms, so we have just moved on. Most have been willing to develop a package that meets our priorities and needs. Photography is one place that we went way over our initial budget of $1000. After looking at tons of photos on the web, I realized that I wanted an artistic photojournalist who could capture the spontaneous moments of the day, not just the formal portraits. We also wanted someone with lots of experience, on whom we could depend completely. Ok, no way we were going to get that for $1000. Our photographer came up with several a la carte proposals that would cover shooting time at the wedding, processing, and the digital files, but none of the add-ons that come with a package (engagement session, wedding album, etc.). These were still above our initial budget, but allowed us to spend our money on the aspects that are important to us.
The budget crisis
Last week, we had a budget pow-wow. We reined in a few areas that were ballooning, and added a bunch of non-obvious, but necessary, costs that we'd overlooked:
Where we've saved
Where we've splurged
Getting ahead of the curve
If, like TTO and a.mountain.bride, you begin your wedding planning blog before you are actually engaged, you can get ahead of the curve. I've learned so much from other blogs. Those clever girls can build relationships with vendors before they actually have to write deposit checks. TTO has mentioned that the generosity of vendors who found her through her blog helped with their wedding budget... I'm eager to hear more. Blogging helped us get a free engagement photo session, with the sparkling Rosaura Sandoval,who gave away a few free sessions to so that she could build her portfolio, I was the lucky recipient of a free plan-your-ceremony book, given away by a blogging bride.
To sum up, the main budget lessons I've learned are:
All the usual caveats apply: trained driver on a test course, do
Talking about money is the last taboo, especially for WASPs (high or not), but I feel strongly about sharing information to help each other out and not go broke.
The initial budget
It's nearly impossible to jump into a new world - where you don't know the parameters, what's available, how things are done - and come up with a reasonable initial budget. Our very first budget was $12,000. That seemed like a huge pile of money when we'd never spent more than a couple hundred dollars for wine and snacks from Trader Joe's for a party. Surely, we could wine and dine 100 of our nearest and dearest for that much. (Especially when I've been in grad school for the past nine years - hardly the road financial security - and both of us have buckets of student loans that we'll be paying until we retire.)
We knew we wanted a Saturday evening party, as about 2/3 of our guests would be coming from out of town. We knew we wanted to be outdoors, in a place that had some special meaning to us. But the cold truth about where we live: it's EXPENSIVE! Especially if you want a venue where you can hang out all day, not just for a few hours in the evening. Fortunately, our parents offered to contribute just when we were getting that horrible sinking realization that our initial budget might cover food, wine and location, but not much else. Our revised budget is at the lower end of the "average" cost of a wedding where we live, via wedding cost estimator, but much much more than the initial budget.
Networking
Most of the best ideas for the wedding - from the venue to the photographer - have come through connections. We are not people with tons of crafty artisan friends. But we do have fairly large networks, and have been blessed with lots of good suggestions (and fortunately few of the kind that question our taste or sanity).
Figure out your Values
The best wedding advice I received was to think about three aspects of the wedding that were most important to me, and to focus time/ money on those.
For me those were:
location
food/ wine
dress*
For Mr. Barefoot they were:
location
food/ wine
cake
Ceremony would be up there, too, as a fourth - but the thing that is important to us about the ceremony is that it is simple and community-oriented, mainly in ways that don't cost money. It was important to us to get married outdoors in a place that had personal significance, so our options on places were immediately limited.
*not that I wanted to spend a ton of money - I most certainly didn't - but finding 'the right' dress that made me feel really special was important. My initial dress budget was $800. I hoped to find a sample sale dress, or one at Brides Against Breast Cancer (even considered driving Portland for the weekend, to go to a sale!). Neither of these panned out, and I ended up 50% over budget, but I'm thrilled with the dress that my sister-in-law and I both independently picked out online for me. (Now, if I could just get over to SF to try it on...)
Catering
Our venue has a designated caterer, so that decision was made for us. Fortunately, she is the amazing former chef at one of my favorite restaurants in SF. From the start, we were clear about the limitations of our budget, and she has worked with us. Serving mostly vegetarian food and having stationary, rather than passed, appetizers has saved us some money. And, much as it pains me, we'll probably do a buffet rather than family-style dinner. The venue requires that we bring our own wine and beer - purchased for half price at the BevMo 5 cent sale. (We need to stock up on champagne or cava at the one going on now.)
Bargaining
With all of our vendors, we've been clear on our budget, and asked what they could do within it. (It helps that Mr. Barefoot went to law school!) A few have not been interested in discussing the terms, so we have just moved on. Most have been willing to develop a package that meets our priorities and needs. Photography is one place that we went way over our initial budget of $1000. After looking at tons of photos on the web, I realized that I wanted an artistic photojournalist who could capture the spontaneous moments of the day, not just the formal portraits. We also wanted someone with lots of experience, on whom we could depend completely. Ok, no way we were going to get that for $1000. Our photographer came up with several a la carte proposals that would cover shooting time at the wedding, processing, and the digital files, but none of the add-ons that come with a package (engagement session, wedding album, etc.). These were still above our initial budget, but allowed us to spend our money on the aspects that are important to us.
The budget crisis
Last week, we had a budget pow-wow. We reined in a few areas that were ballooning, and added a bunch of non-obvious, but necessary, costs that we'd overlooked:
- babysitters (most of our friends have toddlers);
- day of coordinator (after seeing all the work Mr. Barefoot put into my graduation party [a casual picnic affair] we knew we needed someone to handle the day of details);
- rings (ok, totally obvious, but more costly than initially presumed)
- rentals (chairs and tables for the cocktail hour)
- rehearsal dinner/ welcome party
- curtain to segregate the bathroom into male/ female sides (our site is a former military building - apparently there weren't any women around back then...)
- tax and gratuities
Where we've saved
- Music: DJ ($100 under budget for four hours of music); Mr. Barefoot's grad school friends will jam during part of the cocktail article; my uncle will help us compile a CD to use during dinner
- Flowers: cut budget in half, bought vases at the Dollar Store & cribbed some from a friend's wedding, asked florist to work within budget, just read that Whole Foods does flowers - may get boutonnieres (or follow this DIY) there; will probably get extra filler flowers from Trader Joe's, Whole Foods, or one of the local flower markets (on target)
- Save the Dates: handmade/ reused vintage postcards (maybe $30?)
- My shoes: half-price at Nordstrom!
- Wine/ beer: half-price at BevMo (a couple hundred over budget, because we don't want anyone to go home thirsty...)
- Favors: none, other than the fruit and flower centerpieces that guests will be encouraged to take home
- Decor: scored reusable paper lanterns and vases at friend's wedding, will use seasonal fruit, and white lights that we already own. Still in the market for some inexpensive votives...
- Invitations: local print shop does letterpress for the cost of flat printing (on target)
- Cake: on target
- Transportation: our own cars, lots of folks will stay on site
Where we've splurged
- Photography (2-3 times original budget, seems totally worth it)
- Dress (1.5 times original budget, ditto)
- Venue (not included in original budget, but significant cost)
Getting ahead of the curve
If, like TTO and a.mountain.bride, you begin your wedding planning blog before you are actually engaged, you can get ahead of the curve. I've learned so much from other blogs. Those clever girls can build relationships with vendors before they actually have to write deposit checks. TTO has mentioned that the generosity of vendors who found her through her blog helped with their wedding budget... I'm eager to hear more. Blogging helped us get a free engagement photo session, with the sparkling Rosaura Sandoval,who gave away a few free sessions to so that she could build her portfolio, I was the lucky recipient of a free plan-your-ceremony book, given away by a blogging bride.
To sum up, the main budget lessons I've learned are:
- Start a blog
- Prioritize, prioritize, prioritize, and network
- Let the rest go
Thursday, June 18, 2009
The colors
Just the inspiration I've been looking for via Grey Likes Weddings. (though I'm not sure that this is a happy picture... it's hard to tell. It kinda matches the way my head spins when I think about the next six months...)Timely, as I've been trying to figure out what to do about flowers, which will the main decor element on the dining tables, along with the persimmons and pomegranates.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Wed Head
Do you ever get this?
If my day starts with wedding-related stuff (today it was cake tasting - yum!), it is ridiculously hard to switch back to the serious, theoretical pre-professor I'm supposed to be. (Not quite a prof, but I play one on TV ;-) ).
Rather than focusing on that chapter I'm supposed to finish, visions of sugar plums, and tinted icing, and raspberry filling, and sugar silkscreened postcards are dancing through my head. Along with rings, and a dress-fitting, and the invitation design, and flowers, and centerpieces... oh, and the ceremony! Right now (four months out), there seems to be a lot to do, with all of it demanding attention.
I've got a bad case of wed head.
That said, I think we've found our baker, the lovely Edith Meyer. We met her at her 1921 Craftsman house that sits in the middle of a gorgeous fruit and vegetable garden, and sampled a delectable array of cakes and icings.
She works with locally-sourced organic ingredients, organic fair-trade chocolate, and free-range organic eggs. (The fair-trade chocolate is a huge bonus because much of the world's supply of chocolate comes from West Africa, where the production of chocolate often depends on child slavery. Ah, yes, briefly coming back to my pedantic profession. I learned the hard facts about chocolate only last summer, from a colleague. These little facts can help us become more conscious consumers...)
Back to sugarplums... Edith's cakes are not only socially-responsible, they're downright gorgeous, with a clean, modern aesthetic.
She copied the design on the bride's gown for this one.
Though we've steered away from the Alice in Wonderland theme idea (despite the fact that it would incorporate croquet and make a great play on my name) this cake captures the ideas that we discussed with her the best.
We walked in thinking that we would get a simple white cake decorated with flowers. After going to a cake tasting yesterday where every additional design element added twenty-five cents per serving to the cake cost, we were in the mode of thinking conservatively in order to stay within our budget. However, Edith's pricing system is different, and she encouraged us to think outside of the (round) box. She worked hard to brainstorm with us to figure out what sorts of themes and ideas would represent us well.
When I mentioned the postcards that we used as Save The Dates and will probably use for table assignments, her eyes lit up. So the cake may incorporate design elements from the invitations that reflect our love of the outdoors, and pick up on the postcard theme to represent our love of travel. Woo-hoo!
I feel so fortunate to have met so many wonderfully skilled and creative people during the wedding planning process!
If my day starts with wedding-related stuff (today it was cake tasting - yum!), it is ridiculously hard to switch back to the serious, theoretical pre-professor I'm supposed to be. (Not quite a prof, but I play one on TV ;-) ).
Rather than focusing on that chapter I'm supposed to finish, visions of sugar plums, and tinted icing, and raspberry filling, and sugar silkscreened postcards are dancing through my head. Along with rings, and a dress-fitting, and the invitation design, and flowers, and centerpieces... oh, and the ceremony! Right now (four months out), there seems to be a lot to do, with all of it demanding attention.
I've got a bad case of wed head.
That said, I think we've found our baker, the lovely Edith Meyer. We met her at her 1921 Craftsman house that sits in the middle of a gorgeous fruit and vegetable garden, and sampled a delectable array of cakes and icings.
She works with locally-sourced organic ingredients, organic fair-trade chocolate, and free-range organic eggs. (The fair-trade chocolate is a huge bonus because much of the world's supply of chocolate comes from West Africa, where the production of chocolate often depends on child slavery. Ah, yes, briefly coming back to my pedantic profession. I learned the hard facts about chocolate only last summer, from a colleague. These little facts can help us become more conscious consumers...)
Back to sugarplums... Edith's cakes are not only socially-responsible, they're downright gorgeous, with a clean, modern aesthetic.
She copied the design on the bride's gown for this one.
Though we've steered away from the Alice in Wonderland theme idea (despite the fact that it would incorporate croquet and make a great play on my name) this cake captures the ideas that we discussed with her the best.
We walked in thinking that we would get a simple white cake decorated with flowers. After going to a cake tasting yesterday where every additional design element added twenty-five cents per serving to the cake cost, we were in the mode of thinking conservatively in order to stay within our budget. However, Edith's pricing system is different, and she encouraged us to think outside of the (round) box. She worked hard to brainstorm with us to figure out what sorts of themes and ideas would represent us well.
When I mentioned the postcards that we used as Save The Dates and will probably use for table assignments, her eyes lit up. So the cake may incorporate design elements from the invitations that reflect our love of the outdoors, and pick up on the postcard theme to represent our love of travel. Woo-hoo!
I feel so fortunate to have met so many wonderfully skilled and creative people during the wedding planning process!
Friday, June 12, 2009
A wedding fort
That's apparently what we're building in our dining room, with the boxes of wine (BevMo's half price sale prompted me to be more ahead of the curve than I've ever been in my life!), vases from eBay, vases from the 99 Cent Only store, paper lanterns borrowed from friends, and vintage mini mailboxes to go with the postcard decor. And we're still five months out...
Friday, May 22, 2009
Flip flops for One Measely Buck-a-roo
If you're thinking of offering your guests flip flops for their weary dancing feet, you might want to head over to Old Navy on Saturday, May 23.
They've got flip flops for $1. Each person can purchase 5, so take your fiance, best friend and posse of bridesmaids!
Even if you can't make it on Saturday, solid colored flip flops are only $1.65/each when you buy 3 or more! Get extra coupons here.
I'm thinking that most everyone will bring their own flip flops since they know we're having a beach wedding, but it can't hurt to have a few extra on hand - the ones I stowed in the car at the Santa Cruz mountains wedding a couple weeks ago totally saved my feet.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
My year of careening crazily
Have you ever had a year when everything changes completely?
A year ago, I was a wandering graduate student in the Himalayas, wearing the same three pairs of hiking pants over and over. I had a lovely boyfriend back in the States, with whom I talked regularly, but my life felt pretty footloose and fancy-free (on a good day; and nauseatingly unmoored, on a bad one.)
Now, everything is changing utterly. I moved back to the States, stopped wandering through villages and subsisting on rice. We bought and moved into a house - our first time living together.
After spending all of this century (!) as a graduate student (yeah, since fall 2000), I am about to move to the other side of the desk, to resume getting a paycheck, to start paying back my student loans.
In the next six months, I will become a professor and a wife. After so long as a student and a singleton, it makes my head spin.
Symbolizing these transitions, I have purchased the two most expensive items of clothing I've ever owned in the past six months.
One, as you would suspect, is a gorgeously flowing white gown, about which I will say nothing else, as Mr. Barefoot turns out to be secretly following my blog.
(Hi ya!)
The other is also flowing and gorgeous, but in navy twill. I looks something like this:
I'll wear it on May 17, exactly 5 months and 1 week, before I wear my other insanely expensive piece of clothing.
How's this for a bridesmaid's look? A number of my friends have, or have worn such gowns, so I'm thinking it could work.
A year ago, I was a wandering graduate student in the Himalayas, wearing the same three pairs of hiking pants over and over. I had a lovely boyfriend back in the States, with whom I talked regularly, but my life felt pretty footloose and fancy-free (on a good day; and nauseatingly unmoored, on a bad one.)
Now, everything is changing utterly. I moved back to the States, stopped wandering through villages and subsisting on rice. We bought and moved into a house - our first time living together.
After spending all of this century (!) as a graduate student (yeah, since fall 2000), I am about to move to the other side of the desk, to resume getting a paycheck, to start paying back my student loans.
In the next six months, I will become a professor and a wife. After so long as a student and a singleton, it makes my head spin.
Symbolizing these transitions, I have purchased the two most expensive items of clothing I've ever owned in the past six months.
One, as you would suspect, is a gorgeously flowing white gown, about which I will say nothing else, as Mr. Barefoot turns out to be secretly following my blog.
(Hi ya!)
The other is also flowing and gorgeous, but in navy twill. I looks something like this:
I'll wear it on May 17, exactly 5 months and 1 week, before I wear my other insanely expensive piece of clothing.
How's this for a bridesmaid's look? A number of my friends have, or have worn such gowns, so I'm thinking it could work.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Guestbook to Save the Planet: Vintage All the Way
Further uses for vintage post cards...
Like Perfect Bound, we will use them for our guest book
After writing messages to the future, guests can drop their cards in a vintage toy mailbox, from ebay.
Or a full-size vintage mailbox, which can later grace our house.
I think we can use one of these as a card box, too.
Like Perfect Bound, we will use them for our guest book
After writing messages to the future, guests can drop their cards in a vintage toy mailbox, from ebay.
Or a full-size vintage mailbox, which can later grace our house.
I think we can use one of these as a card box, too.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Another way to gain perspective
Meg at a Practical Wedding is have been providing genius savvy and sane advice for maintaining pure vision in the face of the Wedding Industrial Complex.I found another antidote the other night.
I stumbled on this show, Platinum Weddings. Ever curious about how the other half lives (make that the other 1%), I watched. And realized that I really have no interest in five-foot-tall floral arrangements with blooms flown in from Brazil and Australia, or a wedding on a golf course, or acres of ivory draping on the walls.
Nope. Just not me. phew.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Snooty Snoot Salon, Redux
or, Yes, the Economy is Really That Bad
Back in January, when I had been engaged mere weeks, I went on a wedding dress shopping expedition in San Francisco with three friends, two of whom are also getting married this year. A Saks sample sale was the catalyst for our foray, but we checked out a whole range of places, from Jessica McClintock, where dresses started at $99, on up.
Walking down the street, we passed the lovely windows of a fancy national bridal salon, which we'll call Snooty Snoot Salon, and spontaneously rang to see if we could come up. At that point, I was an absolute wedding neophyte. I still thought $1000 was a lot of money for a dress, and I didn't know that bridal salons are are not enamored of spontaneity. Had they told us to come back when we had an appointment, that would have been fine.
Instead, they grudgingly invited us up, and seemed a bit taken a back when four grad students tromped into the store, looking like, well, grad students. Our appearance did not suggest that we had tons of money to spend - because we did not. The consultant seemed to further regret her decision when I revealed that the top of my price range barely overlapped with the bottom of the price range of dresses in the store. Having never investigated wedding dresses before that day I had no idea how expensive they can be.
My wedding date was the third strike: "You're getting married in October?!??! This October??!!! You're really a bit late to be looking for a dress. Thank goodness you came in TODAY!" [Lady, I couldn't have come in any earlier, because I wasn't planning to get married, before now!]
So we didn't exactly hit it off. I tried on a few of their inexpensive dresses, and with every dress change, the consultant cooed about how 'slimming' the dress was. Since I didn't feel the particular need to be 'slimmed', 'slimming' began to feel like code for "you big fat cow." [For the record, I'm a climber, a yogi, a bike-commuter, and a hiker. I'm no toothpick, but I'm of quite average size. I hate the cultural construct that tells women to virtually disappear by losing so much weight before their weddings, suggesting that we will disappear altogether once we are married.]
Every opinion or idea I ventured about my wedding or my potential wedding dress was quite incorrect, according to the consultant. I think it's fair to say that I was not her favorite customer ever.
I was quite surprised, then, to receive a phone call yesterday from the same consultant, informing me that if I hadn't bought my dress [which one would think I must have by now, since Jan. was already too late for an Oct. wedding], I might be interested to know that Snooty Snoot Salon is having a 15% off sale, and I was welcome to come in.
It's rather alarming to hear that the economy is so bad that they are courting customers they had no use for four months ago.
Fortunately, I've already found a perfectly lovely dress, for an eminently reasonable price, at another shop in downtown SF, staffed by kind, charming consultants.
Back in January, when I had been engaged mere weeks, I went on a wedding dress shopping expedition in San Francisco with three friends, two of whom are also getting married this year. A Saks sample sale was the catalyst for our foray, but we checked out a whole range of places, from Jessica McClintock, where dresses started at $99, on up.
Walking down the street, we passed the lovely windows of a fancy national bridal salon, which we'll call Snooty Snoot Salon, and spontaneously rang to see if we could come up. At that point, I was an absolute wedding neophyte. I still thought $1000 was a lot of money for a dress, and I didn't know that bridal salons are are not enamored of spontaneity. Had they told us to come back when we had an appointment, that would have been fine.
Instead, they grudgingly invited us up, and seemed a bit taken a back when four grad students tromped into the store, looking like, well, grad students. Our appearance did not suggest that we had tons of money to spend - because we did not. The consultant seemed to further regret her decision when I revealed that the top of my price range barely overlapped with the bottom of the price range of dresses in the store. Having never investigated wedding dresses before that day I had no idea how expensive they can be.
My wedding date was the third strike: "You're getting married in October?!??! This October??!!! You're really a bit late to be looking for a dress. Thank goodness you came in TODAY!" [Lady, I couldn't have come in any earlier, because I wasn't planning to get married, before now!]
So we didn't exactly hit it off. I tried on a few of their inexpensive dresses, and with every dress change, the consultant cooed about how 'slimming' the dress was. Since I didn't feel the particular need to be 'slimmed', 'slimming' began to feel like code for "you big fat cow." [For the record, I'm a climber, a yogi, a bike-commuter, and a hiker. I'm no toothpick, but I'm of quite average size. I hate the cultural construct that tells women to virtually disappear by losing so much weight before their weddings, suggesting that we will disappear altogether once we are married.]
Every opinion or idea I ventured about my wedding or my potential wedding dress was quite incorrect, according to the consultant. I think it's fair to say that I was not her favorite customer ever.
I was quite surprised, then, to receive a phone call yesterday from the same consultant, informing me that if I hadn't bought my dress [which one would think I must have by now, since Jan. was already too late for an Oct. wedding], I might be interested to know that Snooty Snoot Salon is having a 15% off sale, and I was welcome to come in.
It's rather alarming to hear that the economy is so bad that they are courting customers they had no use for four months ago.
Fortunately, I've already found a perfectly lovely dress, for an eminently reasonable price, at another shop in downtown SF, staffed by kind, charming consultants.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Take Your Wine Bar and Lazy Susan, and Skeedaddle
I came across this purportedly cost-cutting article via Another One Bites the Dust. All I can say is thank goodness I'm getting married on the west coast and don't have to deal with this sort of snobby New Yorkers (yes, there are definitely snobby people everywhere, but blessedly few in my social circle. Maybe because we're all impoverished grad students.)
This article seems to adhere to the brilliant line from one of the commentators at A Practical Wedding that weddings often turn into a game of "Let's Pretend We're Rich." NY Mag seems to feel that everyone is obligated to play, and wins only by convincing their guests that this is the case. Any sign of thriftiness is a sin and should be shunned. The only way to stay within budget is to pull one over on guests in such a crafty way that they won't realize that we're not rich.
Another One Bites the Dust took umbrage with this line:
No matter how tight your budget, do not have a cash bar. A wine-only bar’s thriftiness is just as obvious.
Whatever. If our guests are drinking our carefully chosen wines, I hope they'll enjoy, and not wish that is was something else.
I drew the line here:
Draw the line at family-style service. What’s next, wine bottles on a lazy Susan? Honestly, you’re better off eloping.
Now there's a serving idea! Common at Chinese weddings, I imagine, where the condiments and dishes are placed on a central lazy Susan for everyone to reach.
Thanks for the advice, NY Mag. We'll have to cancel our contract with our site and lose our deposit, since the only food service options they offer are family style and buffet (which I'm sure you, NY Mag, think is even more declasse). hrmph!
We could also debate the value of this line:
If the florist tries to charge you for the arrangements in the bathroom, don’t bite your tongue.
Um, flowers in the bathroom? Really? Maybe we'd save some bank if we didn't put flowers in the bathroom, rather than arguing with the florist about whether we'll be charged for them.
Hmmm... I wonder what NY Mag would have to say about the unisex bathroom (singular) at our site?
Egad, the more I read, the more incensed I am.
Don’t get a fresh-from-ICP artist to shoot your wedding. You’ll regret it, always .... You could opt out of the engagement shoot and save about $500, but that’s when you’ll realize if you love your photographer or if you’ll have to prepare for more of this kind of creepiness later
Huh. "Opting out" of the engagement session suggests that its mandatory. Isn't purchasing a service from a vendor more like "opting in"? We never considered having an engagement session, especially since we don't know anyone who has done this. I asked my married BFF about it, and she looked at me like I was from Mars: "what, you're not movie stars!" (Which is not to say that you shouldn't do an engagement session if you have the time and cash. I'd love to have some nice photos of us - but we have neither time nor cash right now.)
NY Mag crossed the line when they crossed Miss Manners:
avoid engraving, letterpress, and shapes that don’t fit into regular envelopes. And, print all of it at once. Skimp tastefully. Example: A save-the-date magnet isn’t the best idea.
As we have learned from Miss Manners, handwritten or engraved invitaions are the most proper. We do want the guests to feel warmly invited and welcome, even if they're only going to get to drink wine, and may be called upon to pass serving dishes to the person on their left.
The magnets? I love 'em! Our fridge is covered with save the date magnets from our friends.
So save yourself the time and angst. This is one article on wedding budgeting that you can avoid.
The bottom line is in the article's final line:
A great place to start: Event-design companies Fête and A Wedding Library offer free one-hour consultations. Go, and don’t waste a minute.
Nice advertorial, NY Mag. I wonder what these event planning companies paid for this sort of free publicity???
This article seems to adhere to the brilliant line from one of the commentators at A Practical Wedding that weddings often turn into a game of "Let's Pretend We're Rich." NY Mag seems to feel that everyone is obligated to play, and wins only by convincing their guests that this is the case. Any sign of thriftiness is a sin and should be shunned. The only way to stay within budget is to pull one over on guests in such a crafty way that they won't realize that we're not rich.
Another One Bites the Dust took umbrage with this line:
No matter how tight your budget, do not have a cash bar. A wine-only bar’s thriftiness is just as obvious.
Whatever. If our guests are drinking our carefully chosen wines, I hope they'll enjoy, and not wish that is was something else.
I drew the line here:
Draw the line at family-style service. What’s next, wine bottles on a lazy Susan? Honestly, you’re better off eloping.
Now there's a serving idea! Common at Chinese weddings, I imagine, where the condiments and dishes are placed on a central lazy Susan for everyone to reach.
Thanks for the advice, NY Mag. We'll have to cancel our contract with our site and lose our deposit, since the only food service options they offer are family style and buffet (which I'm sure you, NY Mag, think is even more declasse). hrmph!
We could also debate the value of this line:
If the florist tries to charge you for the arrangements in the bathroom, don’t bite your tongue.
Um, flowers in the bathroom? Really? Maybe we'd save some bank if we didn't put flowers in the bathroom, rather than arguing with the florist about whether we'll be charged for them.
Hmmm... I wonder what NY Mag would have to say about the unisex bathroom (singular) at our site?
Egad, the more I read, the more incensed I am.
Don’t get a fresh-from-ICP artist to shoot your wedding. You’ll regret it, always .... You could opt out of the engagement shoot and save about $500, but that’s when you’ll realize if you love your photographer or if you’ll have to prepare for more of this kind of creepiness later
Huh. "Opting out" of the engagement session suggests that its mandatory. Isn't purchasing a service from a vendor more like "opting in"? We never considered having an engagement session, especially since we don't know anyone who has done this. I asked my married BFF about it, and she looked at me like I was from Mars: "what, you're not movie stars!" (Which is not to say that you shouldn't do an engagement session if you have the time and cash. I'd love to have some nice photos of us - but we have neither time nor cash right now.)
NY Mag crossed the line when they crossed Miss Manners:
avoid engraving, letterpress, and shapes that don’t fit into regular envelopes. And, print all of it at once. Skimp tastefully. Example: A save-the-date magnet isn’t the best idea.
As we have learned from Miss Manners, handwritten or engraved invitaions are the most proper. We do want the guests to feel warmly invited and welcome, even if they're only going to get to drink wine, and may be called upon to pass serving dishes to the person on their left.
The magnets? I love 'em! Our fridge is covered with save the date magnets from our friends.
So save yourself the time and angst. This is one article on wedding budgeting that you can avoid.
The bottom line is in the article's final line:
A great place to start: Event-design companies Fête and A Wedding Library offer free one-hour consultations. Go, and don’t waste a minute.
Nice advertorial, NY Mag. I wonder what these event planning companies paid for this sort of free publicity???
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Placecards to Save the Planet
What am I going to do with the extra 108 vintage California postcards left over from our Save the Date cards (which are finally out! yay!)?
In keeping with my theme of re-use, I think they'll make great place cards.* We'll hang them up with wooden clothespins from the 99 Cent Only store like this.**
Put guests' names on the back, maybe with a little message...
Amazon.com
Amazon.com
From Style Me Pretty
Ooo! I think I've still got my old traditional blue & yellow CA license plate. Perfect touch!
*What are escort cards, anyway???
** My feeling about place cards: I don't want anyone scoping about for a place to sit,*** or feeling left out of the 'cool table'. Therefore, everyone gets assigned seats.
***Too many bad memories of the 'salad bar scope' in college.
In keeping with my theme of re-use, I think they'll make great place cards.* We'll hang them up with wooden clothespins from the 99 Cent Only store like this.**
Put guests' names on the back, maybe with a little message...
The Knot
Or hang them from a cool mobile (which I think we could make or find used)...
Amazon.comI love this Calder-esque option...
Amazon.com
And the guests will have fun finding their cards,.
From Style Me PrettyOoo! I think I've still got my old traditional blue & yellow CA license plate. Perfect touch!
*What are escort cards, anyway???
** My feeling about place cards: I don't want anyone scoping about for a place to sit,*** or feeling left out of the 'cool table'. Therefore, everyone gets assigned seats.
***Too many bad memories of the 'salad bar scope' in college.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Things I Didn't Know I Needed #2
We haven't made a gift registry yet. We haven't even thought about it (much). Though we've both been living on our own for a long time, we've both been students much of that time. When we moved in together, we discovered that we had duplicates of lots of things - but that a lot of those things were pretty crappy. And then there are major gaps: dining room table, anyone?
I imagine our registry will be pretty eclectic, aimed at filling in gaps and upgrading (cookware, especially) to things that will last a lifetime. (wow. I don't think I've ever typed or said that phrase before!)
Here are some current contenders, awesome gadgets that I didn't even know existed until recently.
Apparently, a mandoline makes the slicing of veggies, and therefore food prep, infinitely quicker.
I love, love, love seltzer water, or spark, as the Flower Boy calls it. But I hate, hate, hate the waste generated by oodles of plastic bottles, so I rarely buy it. I mainly drink it overseas, where you can get it in reuseable glass bottles. But if we had a seltzer water maker, I could drink bubbly to my heart's content.
I imagine our registry will be pretty eclectic, aimed at filling in gaps and upgrading (cookware, especially) to things that will last a lifetime. (wow. I don't think I've ever typed or said that phrase before!)
Here are some current contenders, awesome gadgets that I didn't even know existed until recently.
Apparently, a mandoline makes the slicing of veggies, and therefore food prep, infinitely quicker.
I love, love, love seltzer water, or spark, as the Flower Boy calls it. But I hate, hate, hate the waste generated by oodles of plastic bottles, so I rarely buy it. I mainly drink it overseas, where you can get it in reuseable glass bottles. But if we had a seltzer water maker, I could drink bubbly to my heart's content.
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