Thursday, March 5, 2009

The Language of Love

Back in college, a friend and I developed a rather facetious student-initiated course called The Language of Love. We did this in response to some boys down the hall who had first offered the course, whose subtext was basically 'how to pick up chicks.' We wanted to reclaim some female agency, so our course dealt with meeting and 'acquiring' and 'disposing of' prospective partners (yes, we were definitely callow youth!) from the female point of view.

So that's what I first thought of when I saw this intriguing post over at The Relentless Bride.

But this "Language of Love" is much more subtle and complex than the flirting ideas we were tossing around back in college.

It turns out that we all have preferences in how love is communicated to us, and ours may not be the same as our partner's. I recognized this recently when I swooned after Mr. Barefoot picked up all the dishes and ran the dishwasher... turns out one of my preferred Love Languages is "Acts of Service," according to the little test, linked at the bottom of this post. (I'd have to say that this is doubly so while I try to write my dissertation and just can't deal with a lot of the day-to-day stuff.)

The Five Love Languages

Are Quality Time, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Receiving Gifts, and Words of Affirmation.

My primary love language is probably
Quality Time
with a secondary love language being
Acts of Service.

Complete set of results

Quality Time:
Acts of Service:
Physical Touch:
Receiving Gifts:
Words of Affirmation:


Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz


AmyJean said...

I'm intrigued and i want to read the book now... i want to make sure to be appreciated the way i'd best enjoy as well as appreciate FH the best way to show him how much i love him! :)

Mara (The Wedding Cabaret) said...

I LOVE this book! the best premarital read!