And suppose that, even after studying the Weddings & Celebrations section for years (nothing better with that Sunday coffee!), you're still a bit stuck on the phrasing.
A new book, Weddings of the Times, will gallantly dash to your rescue, showing you how to list the honors, professions, and pre-occupations of your nearest and dearest.
Read on for a sample from the new guide. It comes out on June 9 - be the first on your block to order it!
Catherine Doyle, Alfred ParkElizabeth SnowCatherine Doyle married Alfred Park on Sunday evening at the Woodfield Country Club in Boca Raton.
The bride, 26, graduated magna cum laude from Georgetown. The groom, 34, graduated summa cum laude from Brown. The bride's father, Eugene Doyle, graduated egregia cum laude from the University of Washington and his mother, Kate Doyle, graduated double platinum cum laude from Wayne State.
Her grandfather graduated the harder they cum laude from Texas A&M. Her uncle graduated cumma cumma cumma cumma cumma chameleon laude from the University of Colorado.
The bride's brother, Lewis Doyle, graduated pre-cum laude from the University of Stockholm.
The groom's father, Bruce, graduated cumfortably numb laude from Cal State Fullerton. The best man graduated cumpire strikes back laude from the College of Outer Space. The best man's grandfather graduated viagra cum laude from Hofstra.
And for the Californians in the crowd:
(Many thanks to Dr. Fish for this great tip!)
Jane Resnick, Paul MerrillJason DelbourneJane Resnick and Paul Merrill were married yesterday at the Los Palos Community Center. A friend of the couple's, Universal Life Church Minister Tim Hoddle, performed the civil ceremony.
Ms. Resnick, 28, is the founder and proprietor of The Bead 'n' Seed store in Ukiah, CA. The store operates using a unique model of "community commerce," whereby shoppers can milk goats or provide child care in exchange for beads or seeds.
The bride's parents are Dr. and Mrs. John Resnick of Long Island. Dr. Resnick is chief of Neurosurgery at Massachusetts General Hospital.
The bridegroom, 39, is also a "doctor": "Dr. Stoopid," a noted medical marijuana advocate who passes out joints from a unicycle.