Friday, October 2, 2009

On the importance of double-checking

Our rings have been in for a couple weeks, and Mr. Barefoot has been after me to make an appointment to go pick them up. "What's the rush?" I asked. "All we have to do is pick them up. It will take 30 seconds." In my mind, that was a task to do days before the wedding.

Fortunately, his common sense prevailed, and we went to get our rings only to find out that
1) His hammered ring came out totally differently (and not in a good way) than the model we'd seen; and
2) My ring was the wrong one! Though we'd discussed an eternity band at the earlier appointment, that was not what was ordered for us.

The consultant was apologetic and helpful, promising to correct the mistakes within ten days, and throwing in the engraving for free, but this was not what I wanted to be dealing with three weeks before the wedding.

As Mr. Barefoot calmly pointed out, we all make mistakes, and it was simple mix-up, which the store promised to fix as soon as possible. Fine. But it's another trip to the store, another errand to do, one more item on the overly-long list.

More and more, I'm coming to understand why women go into "bridezilla" mode (which, by the way, is a horribly sexist and misogynist label, which is why I've put it in scare quotes. A woman stands up for what she wants, and suddenly she's a bitch?!??! Pul-leeze!) Despite our efforts to embody egalitarian gender roles, I care much more about the look and feel of the wedding. The colors matter to me. The dresses for the Women of Honor matter to me.* The guys' ties matter to me. The flowers matter. His ring - which we're going to have to look at for the next 50 years (knock wood!) - matters. But all these details, on top of a brand new full-time job, are making me far less forgiving, flexible, and easy-going than I would like to be.

*Still looking for great v-neck, chiffon party dresses <$100 that come in persimmon, pomegranate and/or cobalt blue. Any recommendations welcomed!


Eco Yogini said...

ohhhh, that SO SUCKS. I'm sorry to hear that you are becoming more stressed. However, it does sound like you have a nice handle on it and are being fantastically realistic- standing up for yourself does NOT equate bridezilla- that is so right!

I'm glad that the store is fixing the problem- perhaps Mr. Barefoot could be responsible for picking them up?

I've found that so far my biggest issue is delegating stuff to Andrew... mostly because I'm a bit of a control freak type A that way... lol. So I am trying to trust that he will get things done. even though today I commented to a coworker that he probably forgot to call the venue... which he didn't (forget that is).

Caring is not a bad thing. Colours are important! :)

LPC said...

Boo for mistakes on something like a wedding ring!

Anonymous said...


You know, I love reading your blog but you shouldn't discuss sexist and misogynistic terms and use the word "b*tch" in the same sentence. Even in that context, the term is EXTREMELY offensive, sexist and downright horrible.

One Barefoot Bride said...

Thanks for the compliment.

I'm unclear as to why you're so offended, Anon. Do you not understand the equation of derogatory terms?

I think you may benefit from reading up on feminism (I suggest here:, and on reclaiming derogatory terms(try here:, and then get back to me with your editorial comments.