Hug O'War

This is where we were in Idaho, on the west side of the Tetons, for Dr. Cowgirl's wedding, in front of her parents' house. After two days of violent thundershowers, the skies had magically cleared, just in time for the half-past five ceremony.


We sat admiring the view of the Snake River winding through the property, and the wildflowers, golden in the evening's glow.

Then, a little girl, Dr. Cowgirl's niece, dressed in white, read this poem, flowing like the river.

Tug O'War vs. Hug O'War

I will not play at tug o' war.

I'd rather play at hug o' war,

Where everyone hugs

Instead of tugs,

Where everyone giggles

And rolls on the rug,

Where everyone kisses,

And everyone grins,

And everyone cuddles,

And everyone wins.


by Shel Silverstein
Where the Sidewalk Ends

Shivers!

And she danced the night away...

The Doctor is In

source

After nine long years of grad school (five in my current program; three on the east coast; one doing fieldwork), I am Phinally Done, having the requirements for a doctorate in my field by submitting my dissertation (all 429 pages of it, chock full o' fifty-cent words like soteriological, neoliberal, and epistemology!) last Friday.

So, after years of work at this august institution, what do you get?
(Besides a diploma, I mean, which won't be available until next spring...)

Just like going to the dentist, you get a lollipop!







I was dancing on air when I left the graduate degrees office, clutching the most expensive and coveted lollipop in history last Friday!

Mr. Barefoot and I spent the rest of the day enjoying our sunny back deck with friends I hadn't seen in months, since I'd been buried up to my neck in books.

We had cake from the spectacular La Farine...

and bubbly,
and plenty of G&Ts...

and a surprise viewing of the ringbearer outfit
for a nephew in Doc Water and Doc Bee's wedding...

How cute is that???

But, wait, it gets better...

Yes, it definitely needed a chapeau!

I believe that adorable yumminess is from here.

And that, dear and patient readers (thanks to those of you who stuck around!), is why this blog has been short on wedding planning goodness in recent weeks.

But fear not!

With Doc Water and Doc Bee's wedding just around the corner, Dr. Cowgirl's wedding to recap, a post about handmade wedding rings, and news about the dress, the invites, the flowers, and the DJ conundrum, and more to share, I'll get back in touch with my Inner Bride, and have my Wed Head back in no time.

Plus, Shoegate continues... I didn't fall for the sexy Chie Miharas, but neither did I find that ideal hip, funky, professional shoe.

And tomorrow is New Faculty Orientation.

Will I be Barefoot?

When grad students go on vacation...

... it just means taking your laptop and (not) working somewhere else.

Turns out riding shotgun on an arrow-straight Western highway can be just as productive as sitting in a office.

Like this.

Shout out to Mrs. and Mr. Un-bride!

If I read the signs right, this is the Un-bride's wedding weekend, so I'm taking a moment to wish her and Mr. UB all the best for a glorious, joyful, perfectly-imperfect celebration at the Palace of Fine Arts! It's a gorgeously sunny, clear weekend in Berkeley, so I imagine they are enjoying spectacular weather across the Bay.

The Un-bride's wedding blog was one of the first ones I read, and I was delighted to find that I wasn't the only one who hadn't been dreaming of my wedding since I was eight, and didn't have a huge bankroll for a blowout party. I felt like I'd found a kindred spirit when I read that the Un-bride had "never cared about (or for) weddings" and was "also broke," and yet was still having fun planning her wedding. She's shared a ton of awesome DIY projects, beautiful boots, and the inevitable ups and downs of wedding planning, all with an impeccable sense of humor (see waiters dressed as octopi).

I wish you two many, many wondrous years ahead! Thanks for letting us share the journey!
Congratulations!!!

They said there would be obstacles...

Of course. Murphy's Law, and all that. My friend Dr. Cowgirl had to re-print her invitations, and almost - but didn't - canceled her outdoor ceremony. And her dress arrived late, and had to be re-altered. The band double-booked, but miraculously showed up at the wedding. Data Monkey's flower order got canceled. And nonetheless, their weddings were utterly perfect! So I should just start bracing myself for a few disappointments...

After our painstaking, interminable search for a DJ we liked, we have learned that he inadvertently double-booked! argh. How could this be?

We learn this the day before my dissertation is due. No time to think about Plan B right now, or even to be stressed, beyond venting a bit here.

On the upside, he is offering to set us up with another DJ for free (my favorite price, again!). Is the replacement as good??? Stay tuned...

Wedding trend: camping out

here, via FFFFOUND!

Is it just me and my low-impact, recycling-happy, granola-eating, mate-sipping friends, or is camping out for a wedding the new trend?

I've just returned from the third of five weddings this season (the final one being OURS!). We were encouraged to camp at two of the weddings, easily could've camped for the third and fourth, and are offering camping as an option for the fifth (ours).

I love getting outdoors, and camping and hiking have always been some of my preferred forms of recreation.... but I also think there's something slightly incongruous about camping out at a wedding.

On the plus side, camping is cheap and social and convenient. The most expensive campsite is a third or less the cost of a hotel room - an ever important consideration for a bunch of impoverished grad students. And this past weekend, the camping was free on Dr. Cowgirl's parents' land (no price is better than that!). With four weddings to travel to this summer, along with our own to plan, it would have been tough financially if we had not had low-cost accommodations options for some of them.

Camping is social: it's been great to hang out with the others in attendance without running from hotel to hotel. Sitting around late night campfires, drinking beer or roasting marshmallows, are some of my favorite memories ever. I think we're all trying to recreate those memories within our wedding weekends.

Camping on site is also safer and more convenient: since no driving is needed, everyone can party down without worrying about a designated driver. When the party's over - or when you've had enough - you just wander off to your tent and fall asleep. No need to wait until your partner or date is done partying, if they have more staying power than you do. This is a great option for parents: one parent can put the kid(s) to bed, while the other can easily drop in to check on them, or trade-off watching them.

This past weekend in the Tetons revealed one of the drawbacks of camping: you're at the mercy of the weather. Which was freezing! With torrential rain, wind, and pea-sized hail! While we knew it would be cold at night, no one expected the day time temperatures to get stuck in the mid-50s. We'd all brought cute little sundresses and pashminas, which sadly ended up buried under layers of fleece and down.

Which brings me to the other challenge of camping out at a wedding: getting ready. It's tricky to get dolled up in a tent. Mr. Barefoot wisely insisted on getting a hotel room for the night before the wedding, so that we could at least shower before the festivities. To escape the freezing, rainy weather, a couple of our friends ended up bunking with us, and we all elected to get a hotel room for the night of the wedding, rather than camp out in the cold. Had the weather been more cooperative, we would have been thrilled to wake up with the sun and a view of the river, but as it was, we were happy to have a roof over our heads.

The weddings I attended five or ten years ago were all about getting fancy in the city - elegant hotel rooms, cocktails at the bar, receptions in fancy ballrooms or country clubs. I like this new trend of more casual, rustic, low impact events -- and I definitely appreciate the inexpensive accommodations... all I need is the backcountry makeup mirror, and a battery-powered hairdryer.

Having you camped out at a wedding? What are your thoughts, pro or con?

Rockin' the Rockies

Remember Dr. Cowgirl?

In one of my very early posts, I asked for thoughts on her dress - she couldn't decide between a super simple one and a beaded one. (She got the beaded one and looks SMASHING! I wish I could show you... she modeled it at her bachelorette party, looking ridiculously gorgeous. I don't wanna blow her grand entrance.)

Here's another silly thing we made her do... she's kissing a banana slug. (More about banana slugs here - do you know what happens if you lick one?)


Now she's getting married, in just six days! She's been my wedding planning buddy all along -- we've been through decisions about invitations, table decor, dresses, vases, flowers, makeup, all of it. All while trying to keep social and environmental impacts in mind. It's been great to have a friend walking this path at the same time - I can't wait to hear what it's like on the other side!

Can't wait to party in the Rockies! My friend do pick the coolest wedding spots!